Alienation

Chapter 2

Is this the afterlife? Then why is it so dark? Shouldn’t I be in a place where all I can see is white? Right? 

I tried to move, but… Lord, it’s painful. No, I feel like my bones have been disintegrated, burned and then pulverized.

I feel like I’m cremated and brought back to life again, if that makes any sense. The pain is almost unbearable. I tried not to focus on the pain too much. And it seemed almost impossible.

Then I realized, even through the pain, that my eyes are clamped shut. That’s why it was so dark. Ha, I’m an idiot. Why am I even thinking of these things? Or why am I even thinking? Period. I’m dead… right?

I tried opening my eyes. And oh, even that seemed like an impossible task. But I proved it not impossible at all.

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

There’s something extremely wrong with the sky. It’s nighttime. But why, oh why, are there two moons? I blinked again. But they’re still there.

I must be overly dizzy or maybe I had a concussion or something.

I let sleep take over me again.

--

Sigh.

I feel so comfortable, and pampered and well. When had my bed become this soft? Mm. And the scent, smells like flowers… Don’t ask me what kind of flowers they are, I can’t even identify the scent of a rose from the others for the life of me. But they’re flowers. I’m sure.

Wait. What? Flowers? Since when had we had flowers at home? Even our garden doesn’t have flowers! My father’s wife is allergic.

I opened my eyes. And I was overwhelmed by the brightness of this room. Everything was so bright and alive. And the room screams grandeur and elegance. From the cream colored ceilings and walls, the mahogany-colored wooden floor, intricately carved wooden chairs, tables and headboard, to the rag which was lying innocently on the floor.

I blinked.

Where am I? Is this some… five-star hotel, maybe?

Then memories came rushing back to me. Samar. Signal. Boat. George. Storm. Cries. Carpet. Blackness. Cold. Water. Sucking feeling.

I gasped, sitting up from the fluffy white bed and covering my face with my hands. I pinched myself repeatedly and even banged my head on the bed’s headboard.

It hurt.

I can’t be dead.

“No… No. That… was a dream. It wasn’t real. George… what happened to him?” I choked.

I continued chanting “No, no, no…” to myself that I did not notice an elderly woman who would easily pass as my grandmother enter the room.

She made a sound of surprise and made her way towards me, she’s smiling.

I can’t help but notice her clothes. She is wearing a… a cloak? Which is all white. Her hair is brown and she has warm blue eyes and a friendly - quite wrinkly - face.

Since when Asians had blue eyes? Let alone Filipinos? Where am I? Had I actually managed to reach the other side of the world?

“Pior kum talamii! Resi bod karde wal!” She announced happily.

I stared blankly at her. I tried answering back but I just managed to resemble a gaping fish.

“Krimul sho patri si?” she leaned in and touched my forehead, looking concerned.

I finally found my voice. “I – I’m sorry. But – but I can’t understand…”

She looked at me dumbly too. I guess that was the way I looked at her a while ago too.

“Do you, uh, understand… English?” I asked, feeling really stupid. I figured if she has blue eyes and white skin, she must be from the West. Probably speaks English. And I know no other language other than that and our native language.

She looked at me blankly at first. Then a look of understanding dawned on her face. “Timru chardi roy Earth min!” The look she’s giving was like Christmas arrived early.

But I understood one word – Earth. Or maybe it just sounded like it. Or there’s a word which sounded like ‘Earth’ in their dialect.

“I’m sorry. Did you say Earth?” I know it’s a fruitless attempt. She can’t understand me. But there should be at least one person in here – wherever here is – should be able to understand and speak English. It is the universal language after all.

She cleared her throat and when I looked at her, she looked like a person who’s about to start reciting a poem. Then she pointed at me.

I looked at myself, and to my utmost horror, I’m wearing a cloak too! Although the one I’m wearing is mint green and slightly different in design from the one she’s wearing. Though I wonder how many variations they could come up with a cloak. After all, it looks like a blanket just draped over the shoulders and goes all the way down… my feet.

I feel like a nun. All covered. But I have no problem with that. The more skin covered, the better. For me, that is.

When I looked back at her, she was pointing at me again. Maybe, it’s this cloak.

Horrified, I tried to explain. She must think that I stole this cloak or something! Cloak?! Why would I want a cloak?!

“Oh, miss! I just woke up with this… this cloak! And… and I don’t know how I ended up here! I swear! I – I… the last thing I remember was me… drowning. I should be dead now! Is this heaven? Where am I? I swear miss! I’m sorry!” I’m beginning to panic.

And my panic grew when her eyes widened and bolted out the doors, screaming something that I can’t understand. 

Oh Lord. They must think I’m a thief or something! Now they’re going to report me to the police!

I jumped out of the bed and desperately searched for another exit besides the door. They will come in there, and they’ll just meet me.

Then I remembered her expression when she first came in the room. She was… happy? And then she looked concerned when she held my forehead. Maybe… maybe I scared her off? With my hysterical ranting? 

But I can’t be so sure. So I just paced the room back and forth. I’m starting to grow dizzy. I lied down the bed again. And before I knew it, I was asleep, again.