So it's been a while since I wrote anything on here but I think this is the chapter that if someone finds and gains anything from, I'll feel better off for it.
So when I was 18, towards the end of my last year in education before University, I started suffering from ridiculous dizzy spells and increased noughts of abdominal pain. In the May of that year, probably around 2 months after it started, I went to the hospital crying. I think my stay in hospital from this point was one of the lowest moments of my life.
I had "suspected appendicitis" they said. I was admitted to the hospital early Tuesday morning. I was kept in a small room on a bed for nearly 4 hours before I was told that. I was then shipped to a hospital ward where I was given another bed to stay in. I was told I'd be operated on early on Tuesday so I'd have to start completely fasting that night and keep fasting until I was finally operated on. At this point, I was still in a stupid amount of pain.
It wasn't until after midday on Thursday that I was finally operated on. I'd been left with botched scars, my asthma inhaler (that I was unable to use because of the wires) and no one around for about half an hour after I woke up in recovery. I'd never felt so much pain, loneliness and desperation than in those 30 minutes.
When I finally get back to a Ward, I'm told I don't have appendicitis at all. In fact, they cleaned out my appendix just in case anyway and it was perfectly healthy.
No. I had endometriosis.
Like you, I had absolutely no idea what that meant. They told me I had to see a gynaecologist to find out.
So I did. The next week, I went to see a gynaecologist. He told me the cells that are found in my uterus are growing on my ovaries and most likely in other parts of my body where there's pain.
He started me on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) for it. At the age of 18 and into 19, I went through menopause. It was pretty tough, I felt weaker than I was and the hot flushes really are awful. Despite it all, the pain continued for the year I was on this treatment.
When I was 19, a year after I was made "fake menopausal", I was put through "fake pregnancy". Again, using HRT my body was experiencing exactly what it would hormonally if I were pregnant.
Honestly, this was another low point in my life. I started my first year at University menopausal. I started my second year of University "pregnant".
What's worse with a hormonally induced pregnancy, some of the symptoms are heightened as a result.
I was throwing up constantly, unable to sleep or ever get comfortable, I was swollen all over and I ended up having some disgusting food cravings that will haunt me.
I ended up having to leave University for some time in order to recover from the fake pregnancy it was so bad.
Now though, I'm no longer on HRT. It just wasn't agreeing with my body in the slightest.
Pain medication doesn't work. Hormone therapy doesn't help. Normal period hacks don't work either.
What I have is not a "worse than usual" period. What I have is an invisible disease. I am fighting to stay positive when it constantly feels like a corkscrew embedded with blades is going apeshit on my insides.
I don't know what to do with it anymore.
I'm trying my hardest not to let it get to me.
But it is.
And thats the real issue here.
I'm now 21 years old. I don't know how much longer I can do this.
