Adam Sandler x Oncle Réjean

Chapter IV: God

It is at this point of the story that we must pause for a moment and consider the meaning of the word, "god". Throughout human history, we've always had a strange affixation with the notion that, above us or around us there is a god. Possibly it could be the God. Whatever religion to which you conform (or, perhaps, you hold no religion), it is undeniable that God is everywhere. We worship Him in churches, and a common exclamation that even the most devout atheist is oft to use, "Oh my God", is continually used in our society. From the dawn of man, we have needed, lusted, for an explanation to the strange going-ons of our universe. How did it come to be? Why are we here? When does it end? Perhaps it is because we have always feared the answer. That everything is, of course, pointless, meaningless. Though rather melancholy, it is, perhaps the most logical and rational of answers. But today, we are not here to explain these ways of thinking, we are here to explain that there is a god, though the term may be an understatement.

The situation in which Adam and Réjean found themselves is certainly an unusual one. A strange woman, repeating only the simplest of phrases, has both unnerved the young Adam and sent them sprawling into an entirely new dimension. Whether the term "dimension" is appropriate to the situation has yet to be concluded, though it does offer up the question, "What did they see?". Now, the reason for this lengthy interlude is not to waste space, but to educate and inform the reader of things that will be explored in the coming chapters. 

Now, a common exclamation in the story has been "Lord Stuart". Another has been "Good Shaggy!". These phrases, though uncommon in our day and age, contain a thorough and fascinating history behind them back in the 1960s. In those days the fastest growing religion was Stuartism, and the second fastest was an opposing religion known as Shagatarianism. Today, though, we will focus on Stuartism, as the things which Adam and Réjean witnessed are more akin to that of Stuartism. 

A brief rundown of Stuartism: Stuartism contains an extensive and lengthy collection of stories (much like the Bible) which detail the life and journeys of the great god, Stuart. Stuart is frequently referred to as a god, though that title is up for debate; it is constantly argued that Stuart is far too powerful to be a god, yet the claim that he requires the Infinity Condom to utilize and contain his power is a common rebuttal for this debate. 

One anecdote that we must consider when dealing with the lives of Adam and Réjean is that which is found in the fourth book of Bananas. It accounts the day that Stuart arrived in a desolate village of the coast of the island Ontario, wherein he found a boy using a banana as an, "Ass-Opener". It is here that Stuart explains the sacred contents of the banana, and how the boy should use his own hands, or his friends'. 

Now, considering that story, we can end this short interlude and let you continue with the growing story of Adam and Réjean.