Missed Chances | Bang Yedam |

01

There's this guy in my class that I really like. We both went to the same elementary school, so I knew him for quite some time since we're now in our junior year of high school. We were close friends back in first grade. And of course, being best friends with a guy never ends well. I ended up developing a crush on him since third grade, but something went wrong. He cut me off in the middle of eighth grade. He didn't call me, or text me, but what hurts even more is that he ignored me in school. He still does. I don't know what I did wrong to him to make him not like me. It still hurts me so much to this day.

As for my crush on him, nothing's changed. I still like him more than ever. I just wish that one day, things will change. That maybe one day, we could be friends again. So that we could do the fun things we used to. Some of my best memories are with him. Did he maybe, forget about me? He couldn't have, could he?

No one knows about this besides my best friend Abby, but I have this book that I write in almost everyday, that's pretty much all about him. Whether I'm sad or happy, or just questioning life, I write a letter to him in the book. Ya I know it's stupid. It's not like he's ever gonna read them anyway. I would honestly have a heart attack if he read it cause you know, it's my personal thoughts. The last thing I need is for some guy to read through my messed up head.

The guy I'm talking about is none other than Bang Yedam. The super talented, caring, and handsome straight A student of our school. He accomplishes everything without even trying. All the girls drool over him when he walks through the halls. Meanwhile, I'm just invisible to him.

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It's really late at night, where everything is pitch black outside. I'm in my bed staring at my ceiling, with my blanket all messed up cause I have too much stuff running through my head. I look over at my clock with its bright red light, reading 2:30am. I have to be up in a couple of hours to go to school, but I just can't sleep. All I can think about is Yedam and how sad I am that he left me.

I decide to get up from my bed to get the book that's hidden in my drawer. I go to turn my lamp on and grab a pen to write with. As I sit on my bed with the pen in my hand and the book in front of me ready to write, my eyes start to tear up. I just can't think of anything happy right now. My tears fall down my cheeks and onto my book, ruining the new sheet of paper. I sniffle in and take a deep breath before I write.

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To Yedammie,

What did I ever do wrong? Did I hurt you in some way? I really wish you would talk to me so I could know what's wrong and help you. I rarely see you in the halls, but at the times that I do, you walk right past me as if I'm a ghost. Am I that terrible of a human being? Each time you ignore me, it just feels like another stab to the heart with a knife. We used to be so close. We used to share secrets with each other, we laughed, we had so much fun, what happened? Just talk to me. There's only so much I can handle on my own. Great now my tears are ruining this page. I would just tear this page up and burn it, but I have no energy.

Love, Y/N

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My head is pounding from all the crying, and my nose isn't any better. It's as stuffed as ever. I go downstairs and grab a glass of water from the sink, and some ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet. I take the medicine and go back upstairs to my bed. I turn off my lamp and slide myself under the covers with the hope for a better, and less painful day.

-Thinking about Yedam makes my heart race like crazy-