It's never too late to be happy

I don't feel ok

The ride is long and silent. Jo and Helen try to have some light conversation to ease up the tension but they are quite nervous about the situation.

Harper isn't just nervous, she is panicking.

It has been almost a year since the last time she was in her parent's house. The last time she was there, she just went to grab some books she had left behind when she moved away.

She did it when no one else was there but walking through her house and remembering not only her father's death but also her absence on her family made her crumble to the floor in her room, where she stayed crying until she heard her mother and her sister entering the house. In a matter of seconds, she cleaned her tears, grabbed her stuff and with her hoodie on, she walked past through her family without saying a word.

Her actions shattered all three hearts into tiny pieces and remembering that day still brings tears to their eyes.

Jo lost her hope that day. Although she kept trying, she did it because she thought she owned it to her mother. From that day on, she started to mentally prepare herself that her sister would never go back to her family.

Helen almost did the same. She went to bed that day thinking that she had lost a husband and a daughter. She cried herself to sleep and it was the only day she didn't make her husband the same promise she did every other day.

I promise you, my love, that I'll bring her back. I will only stop fighting when we both meet again.

From that day forward, Harper did her best to avoid her family.

Having entered her family's house, grabbed her stuff like she was a burglar and walked past them without even saying a 'hello' or a 'goodbye' was her most shameful moment. She knew that her parents didn't raise her to do that.

For Harper, that was for sure the breaking point for her mother to be so disappointed that she wouldn't consider her her daughter anymore. She was sure her father turned on his grave and covered his eyes in shame. She knew it in her heart that Jo would never want to speak to her again.

And for a month they didn't. It was only when Harper ended in the hospital, and they called her mother, that they spoke again. Harper was in for a detoxification after a night of heavy drinking and drugs. Although she was an adult, the on-call doctor was an old friend of George and immediately called Helen.

They started speaking again, and they were able to mend things a little. Harper had lunch with her mother and sister a couple times after that, to touch base with them, and that was enough to keep Helen's hopes up. Even Jo started to have a little faith, again, after Harper apologized for that day.

Now, reaching her parents' house brings back the memories that Harper has been suppressing for a long time.

-"You okay, honey?" Helen asks, looking through the rear-view mirror.

-"No." Harper says while nodding her head fast, confusing everyone in the car including her.

Her breathing starts to accelerate.

-"It's okay, Harper." Jo reaches for Harper's hand and squeezes it.

-"I don't feel ok. I'm sorry. I want to go home. My home!" Harper says, closing her eyes. Flashes of her father waiting for her at the entrance go through her mind. Flashes of the funeral. Flashes of the fights she had with her mother. With her sister. With her friends.

-"This is your home, honey." Helen says while tears roll out of her dark-brown eyes.

The car comes to a stop. Helen and Jo leave the car and Helen opens the door on Harper's side. She extends her hand but Harper hesitates.

-"Please, Harper." Helen pleads, fighting back the tears that threaten to fall again.

Harper takes Helen's hand, and they walk inside the house.

A lot of things are different than what Harper remembers, but not different enough for her to feel like she's not at her parent's house, without her father.

She starts walking to her old room.

-"Harper..." Her mother calls her, cautiously.

-"I'm gonna take a shower and sleep, mom. I'm fine. I want to be alone." Harper begs.

-"Your room..." Jo hesitates. "It's...kinda...my room now. You can sleep there, if you want. It's fine..."

Harper looks at her little sister and smiles. It was expected. Her room was the biggest one and had a private bathroom.

She wasn't mad, but it hurt, to her surprise. Not that her sister had her room, but the possibility of not having a room there anymore. It surprised her that she wasn't okay with that. After all, she kept herself away from that house and never wanted to go back.

It shouldn't bother you!, she scolded herself.

-"Your stuff is in Jo's older room." Helen reassures her daughter after sensing her discomfort. "I'll clean it a bit and put new bed sheets while you take a shower, okay?"

-"It's okay, mom. You don't have to. Leave them there and I'll do it." Harper said and started walking again.

-"You have new towels on the bottom drawer. I'll find you some clothes." Helen says.

Harper disappears and both Helen and Jo share a surprised look.

They don't really know what to do. They've been wishing for this moment for so long, but never thought about what to do when it actually happened.

Is Harper ready to talk? To cry on her mother's shoulder? To have dinner with her family more often? To ask them about their lives? To tell them about her life?

It's nerve-wracking not knowing if it's temporary or if they are actually finding cracks on Harper's walls.

-"We can't push too hard, Jo." Helen whispers, afraid Harper will listen.

-"I know." Jo nods.

-"And don't get too much expectations, honey. I hate to say this but, it may not be what we wish."

-"I have a feeling it is, mom. There's something different about her. I noticed it the minute she woke up. Well...not something different but rather something similar to the old Harper. Does it make sense?"

-"It does...Turtle." They both smile and share a long hug.