✓ | i get to love you, jordan c.

CHAPTER SIXTY FIVE

━ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ sɪxᴛʏ ғɪᴠᴇ

     all my life, i only ever thought there were two kinds of loves. the one that you would kill for; that one, was the one you'd see everyone else feel and you wanted to feel it too. you want to feel the true love and purity and romance that surrounded their every move, because they looked so happy and in love and you wanted that — you even thought you needed it.

     then, the second one, was the one you would die for. that was the one that everyone watched from a distance. they saw how everyone was happily in love and you just thought to yourself that you would die to have that kind of love if it meant you got to experience it even once.

     i know, they sound basically the same.

     but then i found out there was a third one. and that was the kind of love you would live for.

     growing up, i was a lucky kid. my parents remained together and in love, i was decent looking, i had an older sister who actually loved me and didn't pretend to hate me, and i had a great career towards the future. but even then i felt as though something was missing.

     i still felt.. completely and utterly alone.

     when i was twenty three and had gotten the role for Carson Lodge, i was doing even better than before. my manager was constantly giving me multiple roles and i had a great acting career. i had my own home in both miami and in vancouver, i had my friends and family, i had everything i had ever dreamt of having, but i still felt as if something was missing.

     then i met jordan connor yuen. and he completely changed my life. i know, i know, i was in a relationship when i had first met jordan, but when i first saw him i felt something in my stomach that just told me that he was going to be someone important in my life. whether it was as a best friend, even just a friend, i didn't know.

     if anyone were to have told me that we would have four kids together, get married, and have our own home surrounded by nature in calgary, canada, i wouldn't have believed them.

     our four children. our four angels* i mean.

     willow mae yuen — our oldest. fifteen years old. that sparkle never left my baby girl's eyes and i am forever thankful for that. she looks even more like her father now and i didn't even know that was possible. but there she is. momma's first child and first love besides her father.

     kaylee rose yuen — our second oldest. thirteen years old. she plays soccer and is an exact replica of me from when i was her age. she's always outside, getting dirty and climbing our many, many trees in our backyard. i constantly have to be washing her soccer uniform due to her never wanting to take it off. she's our little athlete. reminds me just of her father from when he was twenty six.

the twins. ethan peter yuen and benjamin (or benji as he likes to be called for some odd reason) cooper yuen — identical twins that are not only identical to each other, but to their annoying father who i still adore and appreciate with every little fiber of my being. the boys play baseball, football, and soccer like kaylee although she's way more rough even if she is a thirteen year old girl and the twins are eleven year old boys. i never take my eyes off of those two because their next step is always a mystery to everyone.

now my adult child — jordan connor yuen. the boy who showed me what true love is. that it's not paying attention or "dealing" with me for a year then us being on and off, but waking up next to me every morning and saying good morning before he checks his phone. to take bubble baths with me when i'm feeling ill and takes off my makeup when i feel a bit too tipsy to even move from my floor to my bed. it's him, love is him, love is me with him, love is us.

jordan connor yuen and hayden sol yuen — together, we are the greatest we can ever be. he's the better side of me and i'm the best side of his. he's my husband, my best friend, my soul mate, my happiness, my smile, and everything else that's related to those titles.

and that's my life. and i hope you've enjoyed its messiness, yet beauty. sincerely,
hayden sol yuen.