Rants, many rants

Empty and shit

I don't know, sometimes it just feels like the world is fucking crashing before my eyes and I just can't move. Maybe something is my fault, maybe there's something I should react to. I just can't. I want to but I can't. It's weird, people say the internet is this magical place where everyone can be themselves. But everyone feels like they're giving into a stereotype. I've only met a few real people on my adventuring through the internet in a search for non-emptiness (note that I'm just writing down shit as it comes with no editing involved, so you're going to have to deal with a bunch of connections to random sentences that aren't even close the original sentence) and I'm just going to name all of them here and write down their individual stories. They're never going to see this anyway (except maybe you, Jalilah. You little motherfucker--) also, I'm kind of a fucking hypocrite since I mentioned earlier I wasn't going to fucking edit and now I'm putting names in bold letters and making sure I'm spelling shit right.

Nyankitty777/Kokichi/SLASHONCEAGAIN/Alastor (originally met on Roblox (a lot of people here were originally met on Roblox)): I originally met this bitch on Roblox, after meeting someone else like me named Cake (honestly don't remember the rest of her username) we were both into this roleplay group at the time that originally only did DR and KG host. I only ever roleplayed in DR hosts. The hosts were always strict, and people were passive-aggressive and shunned people. I fucking hated them. So did Cake, who I was okay with the presence of first. And then I met Nyan. I just thought she was some little kid who found out about DR off of steam and wanted more of it. She was really awkward and shit and I really didn't get impure memes at the time. She used them a lot. She tried to swear on Roblox as well. Her attempts were futile.

Cake decided that we should replace the roleplays and hosts we used to go to with roleplays we would do in Roblox chat. Which was kind of hard considering the restraints we had with language. But I went along, a bit uncomfortable with Nyan's presence still. But she turned out to be a really, really good friend. We had mutual interests (although she was bit more experienced in some areas, and so was I) and mutual friends, Yoshi and Cake (two people I'll get to soon). There was also Art, which I suppose would be on the same level as Cake. She dropped out of the group WAY earlier. She got bitchy with us and started insulting me as well as Cake. Although she was okay with both Nyan and Yoshi. Nyan didn't bother to get involved, although if Art ever spoke about me she would message me, quoting what she said (once we got discord, she even began to send proof of Cake's assholeishness). There was an incident once we got discord. Cake became absolutely obsessed with her girlfriend, of whom she was ODing with. And to this day I'm not even sure if she was real or not. But both me, Yoshi and Nyan felt ignored, and she would use her girlfriend as back-up whenever we sent something "wrong" to her. And so we left her. And then there's a bunch of fucking drama with the group I'm in, but we're still good friends. She's really my best friend on the internet (I'm sorry to say, Jalilah. S o r r y  h o e).

Lol now I'm adding poems for each of my friends. Because I fucking want to.

You're a snarky
quiet
intelligent
piece of shit.
Kokichi the piece of fUCKING SHITTTT.


Artgrl (technically a fake bitch but I haven't been able to unfriend her and I don't know why. I kind of miss that piece of fucking shit ass asshole): This bitch left us. She left Roblox, knowing she was a narcissistic prick. Someone that hurt me immensely. I've always been into drama and shit, but not this drama. No I just can't. I can't fucking handle her. She always looked down on me and only KIND OF answered to Cake and I just can't fucking stand her and want her to just fucking die sometimes. And I can't unfuckingfriend her because I want to be able to feel all the things I felt when I first met her when I'm an adult. Because I've gone to deep into the depths of the internet to escape now. And no matter the amount of fucking mistakes I make on this Roblox account and on Discord and all of these other websites, I can't escape now. You sent me into the depths of self-loathing. Just die, you dumb fucking cunt. I just want to fucking scream right now. You've probably began to regret the things you did and I forgive you. But you were still a bitch and when I think about what you did to my friends, I can't forgive the past you. I will message you some day. I promise. And even if you don't answer, I promise I forgive you. And I know you've grown up. Even when you make me want to fucking cry.

You're just a joke
I rarely ever attempt to use
Because your soul
has already been abused too much
for me to fucking laugh

HAHA THESE POEMS AREN'T EVEN GOOD I JUST WANT TO FUCKING ABUSE THAT BITCH TO THE CORE--

and I'll be publishing this now and editing more people in later because It's getting late and I need to get this published so I get all of my thoughts down for now. Don't worry dumb cunt Jal, you will be mENTIONED