How does our brain decide what to block out from our memories and what to keep close to our hearts? How is it that we are aloud to suffer in the open and still come out of it with our memories intact but when the suffering is hidden from the world, those memories are blocked off and hidden away as well? I want to remember. Even if I regret it, I want to remember because those memories help shape my world and without them, there is no world to shape. I don't know what i'm doing with my life anymore. I feel as though i have pushed everyone out of my life, because when I am alone I no longer have to hide who I really am. Its a darkness that I am willing to embrace and hold onto. I find myself always asking and questioning things. If god really is real, then why let humans feel pain at all? Or is it because he himself went through so much pain that he just wants others to understand and feel what he felt?
