A Pink Star

ᏋᏁᎿᖇᎲᏋᎦ

Journal Entry 01 [November 12th]

Im not sure what pain is. I mean, I've heard of it. I've seen it. I've lived it. But I'm not 100% sure about the meaning. Pain. You get hit in the face with a football. Pain. You're lover isolates away from you. Pain. A loved one dies. But why have I been through all this...and still haven't felt pain?

Am I immune to this emotion, this feeling? Maybe this is why I did this. This is the reason why I killed you. I couldn't feel my pain...so I gave it to you. I'm sorry. So sorry. You had such a cute smile. Damn, honestly everything you did was cute.

Your laugh sounded so sweet. Your eyes like pools of honey. Even dying, they still shined. I hope you'll forgive me soon. Just remember I still love you.

-J

Journal Entry 02 [November 12th]

I'm tired of looking. But I know my body won't stop until it's satisfied by the sight of you. Please, come back. We need you here. I need you here.

I can't even sleep at night thinking of all the things the could have happend to you. I get sick to my stomach when I wake up and you aren't laying on the bed below me.

Where did you go? Why did you leave? What did we do so wrong to make you leave? Were we not caring enough? Did we not love you enough? Why. After everything we did for you...you left us, worried and panicking. Now he's dead, and everything is falling apart. Please. Come back.

-T

Journal Entry 03 [November 12th]

I'm sorry...for leaving you all. But don't worry, as long as you all remember me, it's alright..right? But please, don't come looking for me when I go. There isn't a point. I'll be gone. Don't waste your time on trying to find me, or plan any events for me when you do.

I'm not doing this because I wasn't loved. I'm doing this because I don't deserve the love. I'm a discuting person, and no matter how many times someone tells me other wise, that feeling continues to over take me.

So no. Please don't blame yourselves. This is all on me. And I'm about sick and tired of me. I can't live with myself when I know I bringing everyone else's spirits down. I was a small part of something amazing. And I'm sure you all with grown on in fame without me. I love you all.

-S

Journal Entry 04 [November 12th]

I don't know if I can do this anymore. I've almost died. Twice. Looking for you. Why the fuck did you leave?? What did we do, so wrong, that made you want to leave? You didn't even apologize for hurting me.

You just did it and left. I cried for weeks. Thinking it was my fault. I beat myself up because of you. I almost...ended my life because of you.

I loved you. So much. You where my best friend. But you left me. And I don't know if I can continue to look for you.

What's the point anymore.

You'll just leave us again.

-Y