I can feel myself turning more sappy by the milli second. Something is seriously wrong when you wake up low-key hungover and are still smiling over it because you have sooo many better aspects to focus on. To be honest, I used to be miserable and repressed. Last half of 2018 and January this year haven't been gentle on me. Neither have I been responsible with my time or people to associate with. Wouldn't say I regret because there's no point over that. If I hadn't been there I wouldn't appreciate this as much as I'm doing right now.
Yes I did some questionable and disgusting things but only people who do that, the "bullies", are the ones who are unhappy all the times and are trying to escape something. I know I was. I'm very sorry to all the people I hurt. Even if it was a small amount. Magnitude of pain can't be an excuse for my cowardliness. When you're unhappy, you want to be something else. So you pretend. And, you want others to feel the same. So you bully. It's a viscous cycle and it's not a cure to anything. It serves no purpose other than to have your fake ego stroked. That's not to say that all unhappy people take up to bullying. Thankfully, humanity in general is still better than that.
But now, I'm happy and I've left all behind. The highs of bullying are temporary and they can only ever please you if you haven't felt the acceptance of a real relationships. A friend, a child, someone to love.
So what if I lose all this tomorrow. Thats a chance that I very well have in mind what with my perennial pessimism. Right now, we are together and we have got each others back and that's enough. I'm hopeful, joyous and in love and I want to share it with everyone.
Also I just woke up after sleeping two hours and hungover so sorry for rambling. I'm going to laugh over this so much when I'm decent enough to function.
Cleo: What's that?
Me: A papaya tree
Cleo: Whattttttttttt
Oof
Poor thing... hadn't ever seen a papaya tree. It's her first time here and everything is shocking to her.
She's a lil bab. Sadly she can't even get out in February sun. So we only roam around during evening and that too discreetly due to my disposition.
She has taken up to idolising me ever since I drew her (bad) sketch and I used to find it annoying but now I'm getting used to it ........
So that's
A
Change
But really, everything is 1000000% better when you're in loooovveee3eeee
I better get ready for my classes because I still haven't made up my mind on running away
Or have I
