Creation L.H

Chapter Sixteen

Aaron grabbed the handle to my door for me, but Luke beat us to it as he opened it up with a relieved grin on his face once he saw me with four books in my hand. He steadied me in his arm as his one arm took the books from me.

"Welcome home love." He cooed to me and I could tell that he had been waiting to say that to me for two hours. He pressed his lips to the base of my head and let them linger there a second longer then necessary.

"Hi Luke. Aaron it was really fun today we should do it soon." I told him and he nodded eagerly with a chilled smile on his face.

"We have about a week until the books have to be returned we can do it then." Aaron reminded me and put his hand out for our usual handshake. I did it gladly and started to laugh as Lukes arm was around me and I felt his fingers drum against my hip almost boredly, yet when I looked over at him a smile lighted his features.

He didn't look bored, mad or sad there was no trace of that in his features. Maybe he just wanted to make sure I knew he was there and I didn't forget him. It was cute how he was at the moment.

"Thanks for bringing her home safely." Luke tried to act like the better person as he took his arm from around me for a handshake from Aaron.

It was strange to see how adult he was trying to be, but he was and it made me feel relaxed. Aaron seemed hesitant at first as he stared down at the hand with a look that had me rolling on the floor laughing- metaphorically of course. Then wanting to seem like a good guy as well he switched the weight of his books to one hand and held out his free hand and I could see the way they gripped each others hand with audible force as they tried to square off the other and prove their strength.

I heard a slight crack as Aaron moved his hand back quickly and tried to make it seem like nothing as he pretended to scratch the back of his neck as he shook it off. I glanced at Luke who had a smirk on his face seeming pleased about the whole ordeal. And I used my hand to lightly swing and hit him playful but hard in the chest and he gave me a questioningly innocent look.

"Just text me when you want to hang out and I'll check my schedule." I told Aaron and he nodded glowering toward Luke as he started to turn away.

"Okay will do Nexy night." He called and paused to grin at me and I knew we were okay but Luke and him weren't. We stood on the porch watching as Aaron got in his car and drove away, the moon I made it my mission to scold Luke. I had finally thought he would act more like an adult but I knew once a man gets jealous and feels threatened that would never happen.

"What?" Luke muttered pulling me into his chest as he kissed my forehead.

"You are terrible." I mumbled letting myself look up at him as he bent in and kissed my lips. I smiled half way through and he grinned grabbing my hand and helping me through the door.

"So what books did you get?" He questioned as I saw him peek at the sides of them to get the names, and he led me to the living room where he pulled me into his lap on the couch. I sat in between his legs as his arms were on either side of me.

He opened one up and skimmed through the pages boredly.

"I got 'The Giver' , ''The Fault In Our Stars', 'Divergent', and 'If I stay'." I told him as he started to place them down and search through the other one. The pages were flipped quickly and if I didn't know better I would think he was on fast forward reading them to himself.

"They seem like your type of chick flick." He mused darkly and I turned to see his face.

"What does that mean?"

"I mean that you seem like the sad depressed romantic book type of girl. You like the ones where there is no happy ending as what The Fault In Our Stars relates well to. You don't want a happy ending so you make sure that in the books you read no one else does either. In ways you are going to be disappointed." He spoke as if he knew exactly what I wanted and didn't want.

Like he actually knew I didn't want a happy ending which was ridiculous considering I had never told him that.

I gave a humorless laugh.

"You can't possibly believe that." I shook my head and he sighed putting the books down and pushing them away from us as his hands rested on my thighs grazing the scabbed over cuts gently.

"But I do. I know about your mum because not only has your dad told me about her but you talk about her at night. Since your dad and your mum didn't seem to have a happy ending you're to terrified to want one. Well you just don't want one. You don't believe in them, you think they are absolute blasphemy. You don't want a happy ending because you don't want to believe in something that seems non existent.

"You don't want to get your hopes up just to be let horribly down. You think you are so good at hiding that simple fact but you're not, you can't hide it from me Nexia as much as you try, you can't. I know what you want, you want a prayer though you don't believe in a God. You want something that is real. You don't want to take the next step so that is why you push me away. You don't want to say I Love You because you don't want someone to take it for granted.

"You think you are so good at hiding your pain and until you realize that I am what you want, what you need I am going to make sure that I am here for you every step of the way. This world is a dark place especially without someone to love and to be loved by little one. Maybe that's why you're a fangirl because that is the only happiness that you have in life.

"You cut because you think it's a way out of the dark, like it's the only way to rid the pain, to get you past every day. But it just makes you question life even more, it makes you tired and when you look at your skin you regret it but you do it again. Because for a moment you don't think you're worth it. Just like this girl in The Fault In Our Stars believes.

"But just like Augustus I will be here to prove you wrong, to show you that you are worth it. Even if at the end it kills me."

His words felt like a stab in the heart, he spoke so freely and openly about this that it hurt. He was true in every single word he spoke in the change in tone, and the way he trailed off sullenly at the end. It was like he knew what he was talking about and that it had caused him pain of his own just by talking about this.

I knew that it had to have been well thought of and that must have been a reason why he wanted me to go with Aaron to the library so he could think of something. Think of how to explain how I was and everything else.

I let out a choked sob at his words, and his arms wrapped around me and I leaned back to lay my head in the crook of his neck as my body turned. I tried to hold back the tears, but my face scrunched up and I let out a breathless wheeze. He held onto me tightly as my body started to shake under him until my struggles started to become violent and the sobs were loud and heart wrenching.

They were taking out my energy as I grabbed onto the hem of his black shirt like it was an anchor keeping me in place. The tears burned my eyes and I let them fall freely from my face unable to hold them in. It seemed like all I did anymore was cry and I hated it.

"I hate this I hate me I hate how emotional I am. I am an emotional wreck, I am nothing, I hate what you are doing to me. You're destroying me." I cried into his chest and it came out muffled.

He didn't say anything just held me closely even as I had a spasm attack and even after my nails dug into the soft of his chest when I tried to catch my breath or when I had stained his shirt in salt water warm tears.

"It's okay everyone breaks." He murmured to me soothingly rubbing down my hair. And his words didn't help any as it set off a whole new break down. He didn't seem to get irritated with me or mind that I was crying continuously. He didn't care that I was a mess or that I was falling apart to quickly that it would be hard to catch me.

Right now he seemed more human like he had the night that he had found me cutting. If I wasn't crying so hard I would think that his heart was beating, but it could have just been an illiusion from how badly I was crying. He held me tight and he let out a deep breath as his warmer than usual soft lips touched my forehead. I felt safe again and I was happy just to have someone like him.

Even though I would never give him, a robot, a chance.