Broken Wishes

Dear Can

I miss you.

I want you to come back to me. I need you here with me again.

You're with another I know and I will always want that happiness for you. Only for you.

I write this for myself over everything.

I think mostly, I need to come to terms with what I've lost.

I still love you Can, I will always love you.

And I understand that this love is unrequited.

Where you are now in the arms of another, I am left with nothing.

I write this because all that matters to me is that you got what you always wanted, what you needed, what I couldn't give you.

Hope.

You taught me that love could be an amazing thing but I broke my own heart loving you.

I lost somebody who didn't care that much for me, despite our relationship for many years. 

I know you, Can. 

But you should know that you lost somebody that would have done anything for you. 

You're a special person.

I'm trying to forget you, not as if you never existed, because you will always have a special place in my heart, but for my own sanity to move on. 

But just because I let you go, never meant that I wanted to. It was just the right thing to do.

I will try not to hold on too tightly to your memory but I will never let you go.

I will never find another like you, it will be almost impossible to find somebody else.

I can't.

I will try to search for you in another but I will never be able to find you.

On top of everything, I'm waiting for you to come back. I hate that I'm still hoping. 

Against what is right or morally correct in my mind, I'm always here for you. 

I would never abandon you, even though somehow you felt it so easy to do this.

You really did break me. You broke my heart but I still love you with all that is left. 

The fragments.

Please tell me that I'm not as forgettable as this silence between us is making me feel. 

I want to hear you again, see you again.

This is one of the worst feelings I've had in a long time, where the worst feeling is feeling unwanted by the person you want the most.

I know you loved me. 

You did. 

At some point in time.

I just don't know where it went wrong.

I don't know at what point you looked at me and I wasn't who you wanted anymore. 

I'm sorry that I wasn't good enough for you but I will always try to be.

For you Can, always for you.

-

Polen.

-

Writer's Note: 

K, well after episode 30, I hate Polen, just so you know...