Remnant Of The Gods

Chapter 10

I returned to my room after dinner, retreating with the photo album in hand as I stared once again at the photos. When I moved in with my adoptive parents, I would often flick through Mary and Tony's baby albums and what I had in my hands now looked nothing like theirs. It confused me somewhat that I wasn't able to place it but it just didn't have the same feeling. Where their albums made you smile at all of the silly poses their families would put them in mine... Mine was eerie where every photo was the same, each of the children, Sandra and even Simon at times, staring at me intently, protectively. I was so wrapped up in the photos that I let out an involuntary squeak when a sound penetrated the silence.

"'hey were all differen' when yer came," Simon said from the doorway. He must have been watching me for some time but I never heard him approach. "It' wer like 'hey had foun' a fam'ly and everyone banded toge'her once you came along."

"Is that what made it so hard for them to leave?" I asked. When children were adopted it was usually supported by the whole group for them to leave and live a happy life with their new family but leaving was always the hardest part. Most of the kids would report in about how happy they were which helped but normally there were tears and tantrums on the last day at the home.

Simon seemed almost unwilling to meet with my eyes, his gaze flickering around the room as he knelt beside me on the bed. "It' wer as if whoever met yer, ins'an'ly wanted to hold yer, protect yer," and I wondered why he was telling me this, it almost sounded like a confession. "Hells, even I fel' that when I firs' laid me eyes on yer." Simon paused as he stared at the album, indicating to the picture beside my hand, "Yer remember Jeremy?"

The mentioning of that name drew out one of the last memories I had of this place. It had been the last adoption before my own. Jeremy was the sweetest boy, big brown eyes and black hair that fell into his face much to Sandra's annoyance. He wanted to go with his new parents, he really did. He had hugged all of the children goodbye and then Sandra and Simon but as it came to say goodbye to me he flew into a rage like none of us had ever seen before. For a child with a normally quiet disposition he had screamed as he begged for me to go with him, sobbing uncontrollably and his new parents having to drag him kicking and screaming into the car, locking the doors so he couldn't escape.

"There was a reason I was adopted out after Jeremy wasn't there?" The timing of everything suddenly dawned on me as I asked Simon. I looked up at him questioningly, wondering if he would answer my question.

"We didn' wan' ter cause anymore pain," He finally admitted almost unwillingly, still not meeting my eyes. "Yer changed people Alexis." His voice sounded strained, like he didn't want to say this, "for any other si'uation it would 'ave been for good, tha' protec'iveness could work with a family. But here? Here we always have ter say goo'bye and becoming so attached could be dangerous. When it go' ter Jeremy, we knew we couldn' do i' any longer. Each of the children grew more attached the more time yer spent with us."

My gaze hadn't moved from my shoes, hiding the disgust I held for myself. I didn't want to cause anyone pain, least of all Simon and Sandra. But it sounded like I had been doing just that for my whole life.

"I'm not blaming you kiddo, i' wer ne'er your fault." Simon said softly, and coming back to himself, "You were only a baby, you were the homes baby, our baby and you gave each of the children who came along, someone to call family."

I nodded, feeling not at all better though, in the end, it didn't much matter as each of the children leaving had the same heart wrenching outcome. The thought of Jeremy brought my eyes back down to the pages of the album and I remembered all of the children that had said goodbye or that I had to say goodbye to when I left. Some of their names stuck out- Jeremy, Noel, Amika, Lysander, Sandy, and some were lost forever to memory- a girl with light brown hair and eyes eyes, a boy with the same light brown hair but strikingly dark hair. Simon cleared his throat awkwardly in the silence as I thought of all of the children and he slowly straightened up as he went to leave me alone for the night. His movement under the light cast shadow down on the ground and I remembered what I had seen today and I couldn't let him go without forcing out the question.

"I saw it again," I said quietly, begging him to believe me but not being able to look at him now, I didn't know if I was crazy "at the cemetery today you remember seeing something? Something near the fence when I pointed it out?"

"No," he said warily, "there wasn' anythin' there kiddo."

"There was," I pressed, "you just maybe couldn't see it from where you were standing, but you would have seen it as we walked past. I swear to you Simon it was right in front of us." my voice strained as I tried to convince him.

"Okay kiddo, try to take your mind off of it fer now," Simon said distractedly, thinking to himself as I watched him leave. I could tell that there was something... Something that he remembered. "I will come back in a li'le while, I think-..." he trailed off and I knew he remembered something.

At least he was trying I sighed, flopping down on my bed, knowing sleep was the only way to take my mind off of things. I stared out the window as the darkness set it with the moon and slowly began to relax, exhaling as my eyes closed.

***

"TONY can you hear me, oh my god."

I gasped as I woke, the tears streaming down my face as I rocked myself back and forth trying in vain to soothe my frenzied heart. Looking around the room my eyes found the clock, rubbing my eyes I looked at the time and realised I had only slept for about two or three hours. I felt refreshed enough to move but remembering Simon's distracted face had me thinking. I knew he didn't believe me. I had no way to find the answers I sought now, or at least not here.

I leapt from the bed grabbing the warmest coat I could find and put on my boots, creeping carefully around the room trying hard not alert anyone. Rummaging around my bags I grabbed my wallet and slipped it into my jeans, you never know when cash will come in handy. My mind already knew where to go, I remembered the back door was often never used and creaks loudly but the large window next to it will be a perfect target.

Sneaking down the hall I see Sandra asleep watching television, unable to stop myself I slowly crept over to pull up the blanket she had around her feet as she was shivering. I continued on my trek down the house until I finally reached the window. I slid the window open and balanced uneasily on the frame, breathing heavily as I made the final decision to jump.