Tinted Rain

V.

I wanted to text Dean so badly but there were two reasons I didn't. 1) He probably wouldn't want to hear from me. I was just an experiment. He could do so much better than someone like me, so I need to give him that chance. And 2) Obviously, my dad took my phone "for the better".

So the next day I was rather anxious to run into Dean in chemistry. Naturally, I was tempted to skip it like I used to. I had a pack of cigarettes and a knife in my backpack anyway, so why not? But then, by miracle, I was saved yet again by my green-eyed friend. He was hurting my arm, though. He had a tight grasp, so I pulled free. And then he was the first person to actually mention the bruises. I knew everyone saw them and noticed, but no one ever asked yet. No one dared. I didn't want them to, but Dean Winchester did.

And then there were life-changing words. "Damnit, Cas! Don't you walk away from me! I thought you knew how I felt! I thought after last night you knew! But then you never texted me, so now I need to know..." He paused then as if to try and find the right words. Or maybe he was scared of how I would answer because he whispered the last bit, eyes facing the laces on his boots. "Did you make a mistake?"

It was complete and utter silence between us then. The whole school had gone quiet, in fact. Just Dean and I were left in the hallways, facing each other. Green to blue. Everyone had gone to class. We had lost ourselves in each other. I wanted to do that for the rest of my life. And maybe if I answered this correctly, I could. If I were really, really lucky.

"D--do you mean it?" I asked stupidly. And I could visibly see Dean relax.

"Yes, Cas! Oh god, yes!" he murmurred. It was enough, though because it was Dean. He pulled my body towards his then, and since no one was nearby to stop us, our lips clashed together. He bit my lip ever so gently and I won't deny it, I actually moaned. I have never been with another human before but if I were to be in a relationship, I would want it to be with Dean. Even that kiss was overwhelming.

Then he asked me if I wanted to ditch.Of course! After nagging him enough, I got a response of sorts as to where we were headed. He called it "Dean's Super Awesome Place of Shits and Giggles." I call it DSAPSG (pronounced Disapsjee) for short. But it can't really be short. Either way, it's a pain, like him.

Oh, but was it worth it!

We arrive at a big, wide open field. I immediately knew that this was somewhere Dean doesn't normally show other people. It had a significant feel to it. This was Dean's, no matter who it really belonged to.

I let Dean take my hand and lead me into the mysterious woods. After hiking a little ways, we find it. A pond, clear as a crisp summer day. There were cliffs for jumping off of, too. Dean casually started stripping off his clothes until he was in just his boxers. I embarrassingly objected at first until I realized what he was doing.

I complained about how the water must be freezing, but he just seductively whispered, "I'll keep you warm." I could feel my face heat up, blushing. Then, I join him. Not voluntarily. He started taking off my pants. He fucking breathed on my boxers! No one can tell me Dean Winchester didn't know what he was doing. To say the least, he turned me on with that breath and comment and...well, he took notice. He laughed and stood up, taking his shirt off and paying my now steadily growing erection no attention. I played the same game, pretending that it didn't bother me and that I wasn't fantasizing at that very moment of his lips around my--oh no. Full size boner now. Great.

"Like what you see?" he asked, making poses and smirking knowingly.

We swam in the freezing water (I was right!), got dressed, and Dean grabbed an old blanket from the back of the Impala so we could sit in the field and talk. We talked for hours about all kinds of things. Then it was late. We'd lost track of time again.

"I can't go home, Dean. Not now. Not tonight." My head was in his lap at that point. He was absently messing with my hair.

"Okay, Cas. That's okay. You're okay. We're okay." I liked this kind of comfort. Dean himself was comforting. It was very nice being around him.

I got so comfortable that I started talking about random things like bees, cat penises, and more. I'm so lucky to have Dean. He didn't complain about me ranting. Not once. Even though he should have.

Quite a while later, as I was dozing off, he practically asked me to be his boyfriend. And I said yes. Of course I said yes. He sighed and held me closer.

Dean is mine and I am his now.

I cuddled closer and missed the last words he spoke to me. I had a great sleep that night. I slept through everything.

Everything.

And that was the problem.

"Cas! Wake up!" Dean yelled at me, laughing.

"Why am I wet?" I mumbled sleepily. He actually gigged. Giggles are really cute.

"Cas, we gotta go, silly! It's raining! And thundering!" That got my attention. I was awake in mere seconds, running faster than ever straight to the Impala. "Cas?" Dean shouted after me. I ignored him, focussing on my target. "You forgot the keys!" he shouted again.

Well... Fuck.

Dean came running after me, breathing heavily, trying to catch up. He unlocked his "baby" and I quickly jumped in. After the initial shock wore off, we were both laughing hysterically. Then the lightning started and so did my anxiety. I started shaking and absently scooted closer to Dean, holding his hand with a death grip close to that of a viper's.

"Cas?" he asked me.

"Yeah, Dean?" I responded a few seconds later, after this round of thunder stopped.

"Do you happen to be scared of thunder?" I turned my head to him and saw him biting his lip, looking at our interlocked hands. His was red.

"Uh, sorry," I say quietly, moving my hands away.

"No, you're fine." He takes my hand back with two of his. "Just wondering. You wanna go?"

"No. I think I like it here. I'm with you." Shit. It seems like when I'm tired enough, I always accidentally say cheesy and true things. And it only gets worse.

"Cas, are you drunk?" Dean asked me with a grin.

"No. Sleep deprived would be a better term to describe my feelings as of now. That and, frightened."

"You realize thunder isn't anything to be afraid of, right?"

"Yes, but..." I was stuck. There really wasn't a good excuse for my fear. "It's not the thunder so much as the lightning that bothers me."

"You could have more valid fears. Replace lightning with something more.. I don't know."

"What? Are you suggesting I become some sort of religious person." I mimicked my way through my next sentences. "Oh no! Demons! God! I'm so doomed!" And then back to my normal voice. "No, I like the trivial fear of lightning. Besides, you really help me. You make me calmer. Less scared. I feel good when I'm with you."

The Impala lit up then and so did our faces. And for the first time in my entire eighteen years, I didn't flinch. Or shake. Or anything. Dean smiled at me. "Good, then. I'm glad."

"Are you scared of anything?"

"No."

"Everyone is afraid of something," I retort.

"Well not me."

"Okay, Dean." I kiss his lips ever so gently, and he kisses back. Between the two of us, you could feel the passion. Maybe it was just my state of tiredness or maybe it was something else, but I really thought I actually loved him in that moment. I thought, maybe I could even be in love. Loving and being in love are very different things and in that moment, I knew I didn't just love Dean. I was head-over-heels in love with him.