The Girl With Hallucinations

Chapter One

                                 Present

We have group therapy each Monday and Thursday, which I totally hate.
I find it quite unnerving to sit facing so many people at a close distance and share my past experiences or trauma with freaking strangers.

Even if I wanted to share what happened, I can't. Because quiet simply I remember nothing.

But maybe I'm being harsh by calling them strangers, they are more of acquaintances now, since I have been here for almost five months and I feel that there will be many more months to come by the rate I'm progressing with.
Which is none, thanks for asking.

Do you wanna know what I think is funny ? well, I'm telling you anyway.

It's that beautiful pink lizard sitting in that woman's lap her husband was a politician & got assassinated at their door step, her name is Nadia I think

While miss Lawson is telling us about her traumatic experience for the 100th time cause no one in our group felt like talking today, certainly not me.

I think she used to give motivational speeches for living or something, oh I remember, she was a KG teacher.

Almost the same if you ask me, but there was a shooting at her school and some kids in her class lost their lives, quite brutal.

Whoa whoa, what the hell is that pink lizard doing here looking at me?

Well to be honest I really shouldn't be surprized at this point of my life of complete nonsense, but it gets me every time.

Hey! Welcome to my life.

You know things like these really show you the efficiency of the 'Innovative' treatment in this facility, which is practically nothing.

They don't treat you with drugs aka medicine, but with freaking pep talks to avoid unwanted effects which pleased dad a
lot.

I miss him.

According to the doctors, I have selective amnesia induced by a trauma that happened to me earlier in life, where the stressful memories are hidden deep down

Hidden where exactly ? no idea but these were dr. Paige's words so be patient with me.
Back to the memories, they are not erased. they are there but I'm just too lost to find them or maybe too scared or maybe I just have early onset Alzheimer.

Oh And I hallucinate, Old News I know!
But she doesn't know & 'she' here refers to dr. Paige and I would like to kept it this way, so hush.
Please.

You may ask why ? because I have it under control.
I think.

My therapist - dr. Paige - Isn't trying to rush me to remember, she thinks they will surface when the time is right or else I'm gonna have a psychological breakdown and lose it.
Which is apparently what happened to me five months ago -the breakdown I mean- and is the main reason for why I'm here.

If you ask me, she ain't trying to rush because she likes the pay checks.

Quick reminder, don't refer to this -facilitation- as an asylum, trust me they get really sensitive about it. As if I accused them of cannibalism or something.