Sing Me To Sleep

Sex - EDEN

We were laying on my twin sized bed, staring at the stars stuck on the ceiling that had beed there for at least ten years, I tilted my head slightly to my right and started at him.

The only source of light was coming from the few rays of moonlight peeking through my curtain that shined right onto his eyes, he looked so calm; his left arm over his head and his amber eyes fixed on the barely glowing stars.

"And I said what's up? What you've been thinking?..."

     "What's up?" I wondered what was he thinking so intensely about, he'd been staring at the roof so long I could have sworn it was alive, it looked like he was having a serious conversation with it.

"And she spoke nine words, now were sinking..."

    "I feel so in love with you right now." He blurted out those words and I felt my throat tie in a knot. I did not know how to reply, neither did I want to reply, I couldn't find it in myself to lie.

"Jay..." I couldn't even finish my sentence, he was quick to deny anything said.

" I know, just, just forget I did that okay" he started to put his shoes on. "It means nothing"

"I should have kept my silence..."

"How do you want me to forget it when you say it so often, why do you keep doing this?" I said sitting up.

"Because maybe one day you will feel it too, and I won't have to feel so fucking alone next to you" he grabbed at his hair in frustration, standing up and ready to walk out the door.

"All these words meant nothing, and I've always been this heartless..."

"You know that won't happen" I blurted out; he looked back at me and grabbed for the handle, his eyes looking hurt, "God, Jay I'm so so sorry, I didn't mean it like that" after those words he left, the slam of the door echoing my room.

Two weeks later

It's been two weeks since I've last seen Jay, I knew he was hurt, so I tried to give him a bit of space. I tried reaching him by text a couple of days after he stormed out, however I never got a reply; at the one week mark I called his phone, it rang for a couple of moments but went straight to voicemail after the third ring and he never got back at me.

I've been suffering a lot since he left, feeling empty and lost. For some reason i just feel this really bad ache in the place where my heart should be, i don't know what to do anymore.

"What's good? When both choices I've got have us staring down the barrel to the bullets I can't stop..."

I could just try to forget everything and learn to live with my hurt to keep him away from me and not having to see his face look at me like that again, or I could just ball up and talk to him and see that stupid smile again, I needed to make a decision, I'm not sure either would turn out right...

This is it, I'm calling again. I picked up my phone from my messy bedside table, ready to dial; I hesitated for a moment, my finger hovering over his name and contact picture on my phone. I took a deep breath and happen on the call button.

Ring...

Ring...

Ring...

"Hello?" A groggily voice did through the phone, he had picked up, how much I missed that voice.

"Jay I'm so sor-" the call disconnected, he had hung up on me. I couldn't stand this. I three the stupid piece of technology to the wall, completely messing up the screen, but at this moment I really didn't care.

A couple of days later

I was walking down the park with a hot cup of coffee when I saw the familiar messy brown curly hair, it was Jay, I speed up and reached him in no time; one of my hands reaching out to his shoulder, he turned around. As soon as he saw it was me he harshly pulled his shoulder away and started walking. This time I understood. I couldn't do anything, he had to come around, I couldn't force him to be near me if he didn't wanted to... and I was having a really hard time accepting that.

"Oh no, i think I'm catching feelings for you and I don't know if this is empathy i feel..."

One month later

It has been a month and three weeks since I've exchanged a word with Jay, it's been a month since I last saw him, and I know I should let go, but there is something that is always bringing him back. Everything I look at reminds me of him, even the god damn stars on the ceiling, he loved staring at those pieces of crap. I broke down a couple of times, I'm trying not to, but it's just so hard, I miss him so much, it's like he took a piece of me when he left, most than likely my heart, and I don't think I want that back, if this is what heartbreak feels like, I don't want to ever feel this in my life...

"No I don't know how to forget you..."

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So that was the first story inspired by one of my favorite songs atm, hope you like it, and I'm sorry for not updating my other books in literally months, I'll come back I promise, just writers block