An Attempt at Joy

Chapter One: This is normal right?

Normal stuff is seems to me, this is who I'm supposed to be? Living life and laughing along singing to their favorite song. Why does this seem so empty and fake? Who's right is it to tell me which turns to take?

'So this is what good is?' I sat with my newly made friends as a sophomore in highschool. We were all sitting around laughing about what I guess is normal. 'I've never been a good judge of normal.' I must have laughed out loud because everyone looked at me. They should be used to my weird outbursts of laughter right? I guess not. Thank god some of the schools most attractive idiots walked by to ditract them from saying how weird I was. This provided an excellent change of subject, "would you look at tommy?! That boy has defiantly been spending some extra hours in the gym!" I exclaimed fakely, theycouldn't tell.

"For sure!" I could always count on Brittany to fall for my clever subject changing schemes, right after her comment I officially went back to my own thoughts once more. It's not that I dislike the girls, I just have always found myself distant from others and thought the teenage girls fascination with boys was stupid. 'Boys are so easy' I had many opportunities to be with a guy but never really cared for it. All they wanted was my curvy body that I kept in shape. That's right; I grew up a lot in the past year. 'Oh no here one comes' a tall blonde boy came back to my group of friends. I guess he could be considered attractive with his wavy hair, boyish face, and toned arms. With an official 'not my type' stated clearly in my head, I dismissed him and went back to looking at my music.

About two seconds later I was jabbed in the side by Brittany and she yanked my buds out. "Hey!" No one, I say no one, separates me from my music. I then realized that the boy was talking to me.

"Hey Joy," he stated, the poor thing looked shy and I almost felt bad, " I was wondering if you wanted to wear my other jersey at the game tomorrow? It's just that iheard you were going and well...yeah," well how could he do that?! 'He must know what I'm going to say to him right?'

"No." I decided to go for a very blunt approach.

"Well why not?"

"I just decided not to go a couple minutes ago, I have places to be," I'm sure he'll understand, or go cry. Like I said, boys are simple easy creatures, easy to predict.

"Well alright. Later." With that he walked away and Brittany began to scold me. Something about being mean and never giving people a chance? I don't know, I zoned out after a little while and put my buds back in. She just shook her head and talked to everyone else. 'They should have some appreciation for how much I've changed already' I thought. I mean really, I was a way better person and they couldn't expect me to be all happy and boy crazy over night. That's just unrealistic. The traffic had started to clear out so I decided to just leave and go home in my truck, and so I did, without goodbyes to anyone. Goodbyes were extremely over rated in my opinion and my friends were used to it.

'I love this thing' I mused as I turned up the radio and air conditioning. A Ford Ranger may not be fancy or anything but it was my second love next to music. I only lived about 10 minutes away from the school as the ranger drives 'hahaha I'm so funny' but it took over twenty to get home if I left during traffic. When I got to the house no one was there as usual. My mom worked somewhere in the afternoons, I stopped keeping track of where, and my dad had ditched us a long time ago after I was born. I'm one of those accidental birth control babies that my dad wasn't ready for. So I heated up some Ramen Noodles and did homework. Did I mention that I'm second in my class? Yeah I actually do really well in school even though I don't care about it. I've started thinking everyone else is just stupid. Even though it was Friday I just went to sleep early knowing I was going to sleep in. ' so I guess life is normal now? I've got it under control' I give myself a pep talk every night before sleeping. Why? Because I'm a dork. Get over it. Life goes on doesn't it?