I stood outside of our house, fighting tears. The doctor had once again informed me that the medicines hadn’t worked and that my husband and I had failed to conceive a baby. Although they told me I wasn’t barren, I was starting to believe that have a child just wouldn’t happen.
But how could I tell Jeremy that it hadn’t worked again? This is what he wanted more than music. A family, a home and a good career. All we were missing was a baby.
As I finally walked inside, I could see Jeremy sitting at our grand piano, playing “I Miss the Music,” from the show Curtains. He didn’t hear me come in, but I just wanted to hear him play anyway.
When he finished, he looked over at me, his dazzling blue eyes sparkling a bit.
“Well?” he asked hopefully, his eyes dimming as he read my expression.
“It didn’t work,” I said softly, eyes dropping to the floor.
Jeremy was quiet for a minute, making me look up at him. His eyes were closed as his fists clenched. He stood up abruptly and stormed off towards our bedroom, slamming the door as he went inside. I sighed and sat down to wait.
Most of Jeremy’s fans know him as the loveable Jinxx who is always happy and very kind with the fans, and that’s not very far off from how he is when he’s Jeremy. But he gets upset like everyone else, and it can get a little loud depending on how upset he was.
Being unsure this time, I waited a few minutes before going to our bedroom and knocking.
“Jeremy?” I asked softly. “Jinxx, are you in there?”
“Of course I am,” he sighed, sounding agitated. “The door’s unlocked.”
I went inside to find Jeremey sitting on the bed, his fists clutched together as he stared at the floor. When he looked at me, his blue eyes were sharpened to a glare, making me flinch back. He turned away from me again and I tugged at a lock of my hair nervously.
“Are you alright?” I asked softly, starting to make my way over to him. He laughed in anger and stood up again, facing me.
“Of course I’m not,” he snapped. “Jesus Christ Y/N, I told you that missing one of those pills wasn’t good! But did you listen? No! No, you went and ignored it like it was nothing and now we are once again without child! It’s like you’re not even trying!”
“I am trying,” I whimpered. “I’m trying as hard as you, if not harder!”
“”Then you’re doing something wrong!” he shouted. “The doctor said this stuff would work! So why isn’t it, huh? Did you try to add your own ‘twist’ to it like you do everything else?”
“No!” I yelped, balling my fist and fighting tears. “You think I don’t want a baby? You’re not the only one in this house who wants to be a parent! I want a baby as much as you and I didn’t ask for it to be so hard!”
“The stuff was supposed to make it easier!”
“Well, it just didn’t work!”
Jeremy and I stared at each other, chests heaving from our shouting. My eyes were filled with tears at this point and I could see his eyes watering as well. With a shaky breath, he stepped back and ran his hand over his hair.
“God, what if it’s me,” he whispered, sitting on the bed. His voice cracked as he covered his mouth. “It probably is.”
“Jeremy, don’t say that,” I shushed, sitting next to him and wrapping an arm around him. He flinched away.
“It’s probably true!” he snapped, looking at me. “Face it Y/N, I’m a party guy. I drink, curse and live out the whole ‘rockstar’ life! People like me aren’t supposed to have kids; it just doesn’t work out like that.”
“It does for a lot of rock stars,” I pointed out, rubbing his back. “And you’ll be one of them, just not right now, okay?”
Jeremy let out another shaky sigh and I pulled him back onto my chest where he clung to me. I held onto him and rested my face in his hair, letting the tears flow freely from my eyes. And we stayed there for a while, just holding each other as we cried.
~Three Weeks Later~
“Finally finished,” Jeremy sighed, coming in from a recording session. We hadn’t talked about the kid thing since the doctor’s appointment, but tonight I could see that it was a perfect opportunity to be together again.
“Stressed?” I questioned, walking over slowly. Jeremy rubbed his face and nodded. When he dropped his hands, I kissed him passionately, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“Y/N?” he asked once we broke for air. “What are you doing?”
“Just come with me,” I urged, pulling him to our bedroom.
“Y/N, I don’t want to go thru a failed try again,” he sighed, sadness filling his eyes.
“Then just come make love with me,” I said, putting his hands on my hips. “Forget everything else. Just focus on us. You’re the Mystic, so come make magic with me.”
Jeremy smiled and kissed me sweetly before scooping me into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he carried me to our oblivion.
~Two Months Later~
I was now sitting in the doctor’s office, waiting to find out what the hell had been making me sick. Jer and I had figured it was the flu, but the flu doesn’t last this long. So here I was while Jeremy was out with the guys, waiting for the doctor.
“Congratulations Mrs. Ferguson!” the doctor grinned, walking in with a clipboard. “Looks like you’re pregnant.”
There was silence.
“What?” I asked softly, holding my stomach. “Are you sure? Is it a fluke?”
“Not at all,” he laughed, handing me the charts. “You are 100% pregnant. I’d like you to come back in four weeks to check on the baby’s condition, alright?”
I nodded aimlessly and left the hospital in a daze. When I got home, Jeremy had the boys over, meaning he was now Jinxx the guitarist.
“Y/N!” he cheered, waving me over to where he sat, holding a beer. I sat down next to him and he held me close, nuzzling my neck. “I missed you.”
“I need to tell you something,” I blurted, making him and the guys look up. Jinxx’s face filled with worry as he nodded and set his beer down. We went to the bedroom as the boys watched, concern lining all of their faces. Right after Jeremy closed the door, he looked at me terrified.
“What is it?” he asked. “Don’t tell me you’ve got cancer or something like that. I don’t think I could-”
“I’m pregnant!” I yelled, smiling wide. He stared at me.
“Don’t fuck around with me Y/N,” he whispered, his eyes narrowing.
“I’m not,” I told him, my eyes filling with tears as I approached him. “You, Jinxx, the Mystic, are going to be a father.”
His blue eyes widened and filled with tears as he smiled and pulled me into his chest.
“A baby,” he whispered, running his knuckled over my stomach. “We’re finally having a baby.”
I nodded and he kissed me. It was a wet, happy kiss that helped us ignore the cheering outside of the room. It was just me and Jeremy in that moment. Us and our baby
