God's Favorite

Graduation

It was a cloudy and nippy morning, a few birds sitting in a magnolia tree near your window talk to each other, wondering who they'll see today and where they should perch next. The angry shrieking of an alarm clock ripped you out of your sleep. God you fucking hated this thing. But you were a light sleeper; this was the only way you could actually guarantee you woke up. A loud alarm that slowly gets louder until you hit snooze. You really love and hate who ever invented this annoying old thing.

You got up out of bed slowly and checked your calendar. It was a week until your birthday.
Your 18th birthday couldn't get here fast enough, you felt like you had barely scraped by alive this last year and needed a change of scenery. Senior year was slow. You had to go to a finishing school due to failing out of your classes and falling behind the last few years.

Ever since puberty hit you've felt weird. You've tried to talk to people about these feelings; just to be told you're being dramatic, weird or lazy or some shit like that. You tried talking to your parents, even as far as talking to them with therapists there. But they never believed you, and the issues never went addressed.

Now that you are older you have learned a few things. Knowing that you weren't a bad child, and that mental illness was a thing, you learned to hold onto logic and pray that you can get through this situation.

Seeing your 18th coming up was perfect. You knew that no one had the empathy or will to find you once you left and that was fine to you: good riddance. Simply seeing your parents names pop up in text triggered you. You avoid speaking to them about anything, and can't ever tell the truth about how you're feeling. You've been hiding your emotions and walking on eggshells for years. And for what? Just so that they can not be stressed, assuming you're okay? Was it all for their image?

You let out a pained groan, feeling like someone was slowly stepping on your chest. Your anxiety bubbling under the weight on your ribs. You really couldn't deal with this today. Suddenly you remembered the edibles you bought off a friend. Just small fruit chew candy things. You ate a single small piece, just for the background effect throughout your day. The best part is looking at it you can't tell; only if someone ate it. As cannabis infused foods always have that musky grassy after taste.

You sat in front of a mirror you had on the wall in your room behind a simple wooden desk as a faux vanity sort of set up. Running your brush through your /Y/H/C/ hair you began thinking of the outfit you were going to wear for graduation. You weren't going to have a big party or anything, you didn't have a lot of friends and family gatherings don't count as parties since you're never actually there: always hidden in a room of your mind as your smiling puppet parades around them. Settling on a /Y/F/C/ dress with black and white stripes and black dress flats. It was simple and elegant at the same time. You felt it would be best to jazz it up with a belt to give you a more obvious hourglass shape. You couldn't believe it. Graduation. Finally. Freedom was so close you could almost taste it.

Later that day as the sun was slowly walking away, dusk creeping around the corner; your parents drove you to graduation. They talked briefly about normal family things in their usual fashion. It always made you angry deep down when they tried to act family-like with you. They didn't love you and didn't understand you. They alienated you and neglected you but smiled and set up family dinners in the same breath. It was an exhausting life. Being the only one who knew the truth, no one who believed you and no one to confide in. But you dealt with it. Your mother noticed you not responding and turned the radio in the car down "/Y/N/, did you hear me? We're going to the peppered lamb for your graduation dinner. It will just be us." You sighed and gave a small fake smile "Yes mom. That sounds nice."

Parking in the back of theater where graduation was being in held was a bit tedious. Your dad had a hard time finding a parking spot and kept talking about dinner and party plans with other family members for summer. You fidgeted with your dress, feeling a bit anxious again. You needed this day to be over. This week to be gone. You slapped your leg suddenly In anger, realizing you had forgotten to pack. Your mom was startled "/Y/N/! You okay?" You whipped your head to look at her, giving her a nervous smile "yeah I just realized I had forgotten something I wanted for an crafty thing I'm doing" your mom accepted this, as you've always liked art stuff. Your parents ran ahead to the other side where the guests went to find seats. You found the rest of your class and headed to the line.

As your were messing with your grad cap you heard two girls near you chatting quite loudly, as the blonde one was worked up, fidgeting restlessly by her friend "Did you hear that Derik is missing? He was supposed to have gone with Daisy to her family's summer house but Daiz called me this morning and she was like freaking out. She like said that she waited all night for him and he was supposed to meet up with her at her place so they could wake up together with the whole family and go to the airport together. He's never been flakey or fake like most of the fuckbois at our school he so wouldn't just abandon her." Her friend seemed a bit underwhelmed "well daisy has had a weird record with dudes.... can we really say he's missing? Maybe parents vacay is too much too soon for this dude and he bailed" her blonde friend seemed mad. Huffing and ending the conversation then and there. The line suddenly got some movement, finally, you thought to yourself.

As they called your name you tried not to sprint across the stage. You had made it through this hell hole called high school by the skin of your teeth. You couldn't wait to be away from teenagers and the toxic chemistry created in the high school environment. The night wrapped up decently with a speedy ceremony leading to a satisfying dinner with your parents. The drive home wasn't too bad, you enjoyed watching the world whip by the window of the car, seeing everything draped in a blanket of shadow, the moon a tiny sliver that was playing red light green light with the clouds. You were feeling a bit tired and rested your head on the window. 7 days. You thought to yourself, running your hand down your thigh as you settled in to the seat with your eyes closed. Just 7 more days.