The Neighbors

Chapter 13

After my unexpected reaction to seeing Eric again, I decided to talk to a counselor, specifically a family and child therapist. I wasn't really sure that I needed to work through my feelings anymore, but I worried about my kids. I was concerned that they might have some lingering insecurities, and I knew that my own fear about their emotional health wasn't helping matters at all.

My first few sessions with the counselor were immensely helpful. I told her that I thought I had worked through my hurt with Eric, but I couldn't figure out why I had reacted so intensely when I saw him.

She helped me to understand my reaction as a mother, not as a jilted lover. I love my girls with all my heart and even though I know I would do anything for them, I still know there's something missing in their life – a daddy, a father figure. Yes, many children grow up without fathers in their life and they turn out just fine, but in my heart, I knew it's what I wanted for my girls. I was no longer grieving for my failed marriage, I was now grieving for the lack of a daddy in my girls' life.

My grief was a natural process to go through, but it didn't mean I had to do something to remedy the situation. In other words, I didn't have to feel obligated to find a new daddy for them. If it happened, great. But if not, I didn't have to bear a burden of guilt for not providing something that I couldn't possibly provide.

I told her about the girls' relationship with my father. And Harry. She asked me about Harry, saying he sounded like a very good friend and a good role model for the girls.

The girls and I attended several more of Harry's soccer games. Charlie came with us exactly one time. Harold never attended a single game. In some ways, I felt a responsibility to Harry to fill in the gaps that his family was missing, but I wasn't obsessed with it. I just felt bad that he had lost his mother and that his father was missing-in-action, kind of like my own kids' father.

Once soccer season ended, Harry resumed his frequent visits. I tried to keep my distance, not purposely hugging him or kissing his forehead like I had done before. I had a feeling he was developing a rather large crush on me, and as much as I enjoyed his company, I didn't want to encourage any possible feelings he might have for me.

One Friday evening, after the girls were in bed, Harry suggested that we watch the Mission Impossible trilogy.

"You're kidding, right?" I laughed. "I have small kids who will wake up very early tomorrow morning. I can't stay up that late! And when we stayed up to watch movies a few weeks ago, I really regretted it the next day."

"Yeah, I know. I just don't want to go home," he said.

I grew concerned, asking, "Why not?"

"Um, my brother is there with his girlfriend," he said.

"Do you not get along with her?" I asked.

"It's not that, exactly. It's just hard to sleep when she stays over. They're kind of...um, loud. I'd rather go home after I know they've gone to sleep."

"Eww," I crinkled my nose, laughing. "I'm sorry. How about if I buy you some earplugs?"

It wasn't that I didn't want to hang out with Harry. A movie sounded good, so I agreed to watch the first Mission Impossible movie. I told Harry that I would see how I felt after we completed the first one. We ended up watching all three movies and falling asleep on the couch in the basement. I woke up around 4:00 AM, but I didn't want to wake Harry up, so I threw a blanket over him and went up to my bed. I'd have at least two more decent hours of sleep before the girls woke up.

Unfortunately, Rachael had different plans. She started whining about half an hour later. I tried to nurse her back to sleep, but she wouldn't have it. She was cranky and I knew why. She had more teeth coming in, so it was likely that she would want to nurse all day long.

I gave in and grabbed her from the bed. I stalked into the kitchen to make an extra large, extra strong pot of coffee.

I put Rachael down on the floor with a bunch of toys, grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down at my computer, mindlessly surfing the web. When Rachael started whining again, I realized that she wanted more of my comfort. I stalked downstairs, pulled a chair up close to the TV, turned it on low and got her latched on.

It was going to be a tough day. As much as I enjoyed watching the movies with Harry last night, I was going to pay for the lack of sleep today. Rachael drifted off after about half an hour, so I got up to bring her upstairs, but then she woke up again.

"Grrr," I growled. I felt so irritated. I loved my baby, but when I didn't get enough sleep, everything was annoying.

Harry woke up to the sound of my complaint. "Everything all right?"

"No!" I snapped. "YOU made me stay up too late last night!" I was only half kidding as I stomped up the stairs to pour myself another cup of coffee.

I heard Harry padding up the stairs a few minutes later. I turned as soon as he reached the landing and said, "I'm sorry I snapped at you. It's not your fault. I chose to stay up too late."

He smirked and said, "Well, it's partially my fault, so let me make it up to you."

"The only thing I need is sleep and for that, I need a babysitter for about four hours. But I can't really call on my mom just so that I can sleep."

"Well, that's exactly how I'll make it up to you. I'll watch the girls while you get some sleep," he grinned. How could I say no to that dimpled smile?

"The baby is fussy, though. I don't know if you'll be able to handle her like this." She was determined to prove me wrong, apparently, because as soon as I walked closer to Harry, she practically leapt into Harry's arms. I pulled some teething gel out of the cupboard and then I showed Harry how to make up a bottle if she needed it. I showed him where the other girls sippy cups, snacks and cereal were. I told him what kind of juice they liked and what shows they could watch.

Harry interrupted me, "I can take it from here, Lise. Just get some sleep, okay?"

When I woke up three hours later, I was shocked that I had slept so long. I crept out to the living room to find Rachael sleeping peacefully in her pack 'n play. I looked around and didn't see or hear Harry anywhere. I went to the kitchen to find this note:

Lise,
I took Rory and Grace to the park down the street
:) Harry

Where did this kid come from and how did he happen to invade my life?

I checked on Rachael again and she was still sleeping so I decided to grab the opportunity for a quick shower. When I was finished and had gotten dressed, Harry was back with the older girls.

"Hey, loveys! Did you have fun with Harry?"

"Yes, Mommy! So much fun!" Grace squealed, jumping up and down, squeezing her fists together.

I picked her up and nibbled on her neck, making her giggle. "I'm glad you had fun, baby!"

"Mommy, I just love Harry so much!" Aurora gushed, grabbing his leg and squeezing it with all her might.

He laughed and said, "I love you, too, Princess." Then he came to Grace, still in my arms, saying, "And you, too, Princess." He looked at me and grinned, making his entire face light up and his dimples pop.

Rachael woke up and looked around just then, as if she were waiting for Harry's affirmation as well. He strode over to her and hoisted her up, saying, "I love you, too, Princess Rachael!"

In that moment, I was so thankful for Harry. He really did love my girls and treat them like family. If they didn't have a daddy, at least they had the next best thing.

They had Harry.