The Neighbors

Chapter 34

I laid in bed for a long time just thinking about Harry's words, evaluating all the pieces of the puzzle. All of my fear came from what Eric had done to me. Otherwise, I had good examples of faithful men in my life – my father, my brother, both of my grandfathers. I didn't date a lot in high school and I never really had any horrendous breakups, so I couldn't blame my fear on any of those. So, somehow I had to convince myself that Harry was different than Eric. But I already knew that.

Even so, trusting someone again was going to be hard. I remember all of the pain that I imagined my girls felt or would be feeling, thinking they would grow up without a daddy and just making up my mind that I was going to be super-mom, that I could be enough so that they didn't need a daddy.

This wasn't like dating someone when I was younger. I wasn't the only one who would be affected by a relationship at this point. My girls would be affected as well, and if it ended poorly, then they would be hurt, possibly for longer than I would.

Why couldn't I trust that it wouldn't end badly with Harry? What if Harry was just too young to know what it would really mean to keep his word?

I finally threw my covers off of me in frustration, knowing I wouldn't be getting much sleep. I went to the kitchen for a granola bar and some milk and I sat down at my computer. I opened my Skype window to see if Ryan was on, and sure enough he was. I hoped he would answer.

"Hi Lissy,” I heard his voice before his video feed came through.

“Hi Ry, I'm glad you're up,” I said, sighing heavily.

“Okay, what did he do now?” Ryan joked. “Am I gonna have to come up there and knock some sense into Harry?”

“No, you dork,” I teased right back. “Harry didn't do anything. It's me.”

“What did you do?” He demanded.

“Nothing. That's the problem. Harry is trying to convince me that he's ready for marriage, and I...I don't know.”

“What don't you know, Lise? I know you two love each other. Why the hell are you making it so complicated?!”

I flinched a little at my brother's harsh words, but then I answered, “How do I know if he's ready?”

“Well, he's telling you he's ready, right?”

“Yes,” I replied in a small voice.

“Then he is. Lise, you can't treat him like a child!” My brother all but shouted.

“Why are you getting so upset?” I asked defensively.

“Because Harry is the best damn thing that has ever happened to you and you're trying to analyze the hell out of it instead of just accepting that he loves you and wants to marry you!”

I saw Jessica walk into the room and take a seat next to Ryan, probably wondering why on earth he was yelling at so late at night.

“Hi, Jessica,” I laughed. “Your fiance is giving me a pep talk. Can you tell?”

She laughed. “Uh, yeah.”

I took a deep breath and said, “You're right, Ryan. I just need to let go of my fear. It shouldn't be that hard, right?”

My brother's face softened and he said, “I'm sorry you got a raw deal with Eric. He's a piece of work, that guy. But Lise, most men really do mean what they say. And most men really do want a family. Eric wasn't one of those guys. But Harry is one of those guys and he just happened to figure that out earlier than most people.”

“I know,” I said, with tears pricking my eyes. “I know Harry loves me.”

I changed the subject. “So here's some exciting news! Harry is flying to LA tomorrow to talk to a record company. How cool is that?”