don't listen » soonhoon

02

christmas came and left before jihoon could even blink. it was vaguely filled with soonyoung excitedly tearing open presents, and jihoon's parents making pudding. as january approached and the air became too cold for jihoon's liking, he found himself shrinking back into his room more often and as a result, began to see soonyoung less and less.

there were a few days where it snowed lightly and the streets became a cloudy white, frozen with a thin layer of ice. his window would fog up in no time and he would just close the curtain with a sigh and return to composing.

one assignment after another began to stress jihoon out. after finishing one, he'd be pushed another - by now, he was sure he'd composed the equivalent to an artist's entire career in music. jihoon began sleeping less and less, struggling to finish his work on the train to school, and struggling even more to find time to see soonyoung or any of his other distant friends.

it'd been a month since university started, and jihoon couldn't remember the last time he'd seen his friend, both being busy with their own individual endeavours. it didn't help that neither of them were great at using social media - the only exception being soonyoung going on a binge and sending jihoon 20 memes in a row, to which the latter would simply reply 'lol'.

the day soonyoung had a dance recital was the day jihoon had his music one. pledis university tended to bunch all of its performing arts showcases into one day so they didn't have to rent out the theatre for more time than needed. jihoon found himself immersing his concentration into preparing for his performance, so much so that he completely forgot to keep in contact with anyone but his parents. even in the small moments where he remembered the boy with slanted eyes, he would only send a random sticker of a bear dancing and resume his 24/7 work lifestyle.

but jihoon was sure soonyoung would understand. soonyoung had his performance to worry about as well.

if there was anything jihoon would willingly compliment soonyoung on, it was his dancing. jihoon loved watching soonyoung dance. there was something so expressive and captivating about it. the way his face scrunched up in concentration, his eyes exuding confidence. his movements were sharp, yet also so graceful and smooth. soonyoung was born to dance.

though he'd watched him dance many times, jihoon was still upset he'd be missing soonyoung's upcoming performance. standing backstage with sweaty hands, he waited for his turn to perform whilst the images of soonyoung dancing lingered in the back of his mind.

"next, performing simple, is lee jihoon!" jihoon stumbled out into the bright spotlight of the theatre and took his place at the piano. maybe if he finished quickly, he'd be able to sneak into the next hall to catch soonyoung's performance.

but performances can't be rushed. he took his time, pouring all he could into his voice. vaguely, he heard a commotion outside but paid no attention to it. more often than not, there would be at least one person in the crowd coughing, talking, or creating other negligible distractions. jihoon became good at shutting out the world around him.

the song came to an end, and jihoon lifted his hands from the piano with a sense of finality. he was quite proud of that performance. if only soonyoung had seen it.

the applause died down, and it became apparent that there really was something happening outside. there was chattering, and jihoon wandered outside to see what it was about. there was a crowd outside one of the halls, and a boy on stage inside. he wasn't performing though, he was laying sideways with his cheek smushed into the floor. there was a man next to him, talking. the boy replied, but still remained in the same position on the floor.

"what happened?" jihoon asked a nearby person.

"he was performing but suddenly had some sort of cramp," a girl replied. "shame. he was doing so well."