there's so much wrong about life.
i keep stepping on shit every time i decide to move on, it feels almost wrong for me to ever want to fix it.
'wrong' ! this word gets me worked up every time it comes to my mind. The fact that i have it all in my hands but i just can't act right, can't take control of the slightest issues makes me feel even more stupid, helpless, useless and effortless. And i know those words are right to discribe the loser in me.
i' not being hard on myself, i tell the truth,
i am a loser because i keep thinking about losers, and i keep creating scenarios and illusions in my freaking mind that i know i cant come to realise because i know that I AM A LOSER.
i honestly don't deserve care, why do some people keep making me feel like i matter, than someone else pulls me back to reality and oops.. all of sudden i get hurt! i don't deserve to feel hurt! where did these feelings come from? i'm an emotionless person.
person? i'm not even a person to begin with! i'm just trash okay? i'm some dramatic trash that keeps victimizing itself and drowning waiting for some nice pple to come rescue me out of pity.. that's who i am.
though it's hard to admit, i don't belong to this life, i don't fit in this hardworking society and i just don't deserve what i have, but can i take my own life away? NO ofcourse i can't and i keep waiting for someone else to do it for me because i'm but a coward.
YOU ARE READING
throughout a girl's heart
PoetryTWO reasons why i'm publishing this: One: i'm done with pretending i'm okey. Two: some of these thoughts have been overwhelming for too long so i thought maybe sharing would help.. you know guys it's said pain when shared is healed.. lol Three: bcs...
