the thought

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I sit alone at the family computer, writing about theories and other things. unwillingly, I stand and walk into the kitchen. I take a top ramen from the cupboard and place it into a glass bowl, followed by filling it up with water and placing it in the microwave on high for 4 and a half minutes. I sigh and hop up onto the counter, pulling back a few homemade and store bought bracelets to show a few deep scratches across my left wrist. "still haven't healed yet I see..." I mumble, my voice cracking a little in the end. all of a sudden, the microwace beeps, so I take out the ramen, my hands probably getting severely burnt. I set the ramen down, and rip open the sauce packet, a bit of blood spotting at the burn. "fuck." I say harshly. I pour It into the bowl, ignoring the pain stinging at my hands.I mix it together with a fork. I suddenly get a chill. I sigh. 'I wonder if something is wrong with me, I get chills too often.' I think simultaneously. I shrug and bring the bowl to the desk and roll up some noodles and slurp them up, enjoying the fake taste of chicken flavour. I suddenly think of something. no- wait. it wasn't a thought, but it was more vivid. I imagined myself sticking a large axe with spikes on it into my mom, Mel. I shake away the thought. 'I have been having these since I was 9...' I think. I shrug and finish the ramen, setting the bowl in the sink and sitting back down.

my dog astroid yelps. I groan, get up once again, and let the purebred shepherd in. I scratch her behind the ear and finish up on the computer.

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