if only

my not-so perfect life

"fuck everything" was my first thought when i woke up this morning. now im sitting at my usual lunch table reliving that thought. thank you lord for food because i do not want to interact with these people is another reaccuring thought. why do we have to go to school anyway? our education system is out of date and full of corruption. before i ended up having a war with myself , bradley sat down. for 2 years and 6 months this boy has got me out of my head and my heart melting. 

"good afternoon, my - " bradley started but was interrupted by kursty

"DONT SAY IT OR ILL PUNCH YOU" she screamed putting her hands over her ears

"i was going to say baby, but- "

"SAY NO MORE. " she screamed again

bradley has been calling me his chocolate covered strawberry for weeks now and kursty hates it.

"how many times do i have to tell you that strawberries are the devils fruit and that coating them with chocolate is just covering them with lies! they are made by the devil and you disgust me for calling her that!"  

i let out a laugh and earn i death glare. 

"we get it, kursty. im very sorry for bradley calling me a fruit that you assosiate with the devil" i tried but she huffed and turned away.

kursty has been one of my two long lasting friends and she is very perrsistent, loud, dramatic, outgoing and extremely expressive. kursty has a year long tan thanks to her hispanic roots, light brown eyes, long black straight hair that reaches the upper middle of her back, a great figure which she loves to show off and amazing talents that make everyone around her jealous.

"im not, her episodes make my day." hailey laughs from beside me. 

hailey is almost the exact oppisite of kursty. hailey is shy and closed off to everyone except very few people. she is very small and fragile but is very scary when she wants to be. she is filipino, has short black hair, dark brown eyes, and is very skinny.

"youre just jealous because i was invited to janes sweet 16" kursty comments and they continue bickering until bradley announces that we will be leaving.

"by leaving you mean you and yourself right because alice is coming with me to help josh cope with the break up" says kursty

"break up? you broke up?" questioned bradley

"future tense. will break up. in a couple minutes actually. " 

"well thats too bad. alice is mine for the 25 minutes we have left of lunch." bradley protested

"too late." kursty pulled me by the arm towards josh

she was mid way through break up when i snuck out. i sat down at an empty table and put in my headphones.  i shuffled through the songs and put on "Over My Head" by the fray.

when the music started playing i turned around to see kursty and josh and realized that he was in tears and wish that i didnt leave her. she was always bad in this type of senario. 

i feel a jolt on the bench and turn to see bradley sitting beside me. as soon as i look, he kisses me and we interlock fingers. we break apart still joined by our hands and he takes a headphone and starts singing along, very off pitch to be honest. i conjure enough energy to smile and laugh.

it was times like this that i wish i could be happy.