Crossroads (SPN x TVD)

Twin Terrors

“Wake up douchebags!” I yell throwing vervain at the two twats and Elena… We found another weakness for them.

“Why can’t we just decapitate them Sammy? Or play Russian Roulette with the Colt? I think pretty one should go last.” I say spinning the cylinder.

“Ugh these vervain ropes aren’t any fun, why don’t ya let us loose and we can cut to the chase?” says the dark one.

“Shut up fuckfangs.” I say.

I look over at Elena and notice she’s not reacting to the vervain and Sam follows my look.

“You two are vamps but you’re not?” Sam questions.

“NO. Now let us go!”

“I’m sorry Elena I know you’re confused but they aren’t what you think they are.” Sam starts and I see the look in his eyes that I saw with Meg.

No Sammy not another one.

“I’m not a vampire!” She yells trying to free herself.

The one with the dark hair, Dildo I think his name was, made another stupid comment and I repeatedly beat the crap out him and his brother Strapon.

Sammy pushed me out of the house… I was angry and I guess I was being stupid so I’m just gonna take baby and the colt and head to a bar.

Sammy should’ve let me kill both of em.

I got some beers and got to a hotel before drinking, also I bought myself some pie because SOMEBODY keeps forgetting the damn pie.

As soon as I finish the beers and my first slice of pie I hear something hit the wall next to me and a faint scream.

I pull out the colt and bust the door open to see…. Elena feeding on someone.

“Hey put her down or I swear I’ll blow your Vamp ass to wherever those sparkly fucks come from!” I say pointing the Colt at her and she slowly lets the person down.

She doesn’t even look at me to attack me and I put her on her back.

“Try again?” I ask and she super speeds at me and I put her down again.

We end up wrestling around for a bit til she kicks me in the nads and my head hits the counter.

As soon as I come to I find my hands are tied behind my back.

“Glad you’re awake. I would’ve drained you of your blood and killed you but I need something, where is my doppleganger?” She asks.

Now it makes sense why she looks just like Lena.

“You know if I wanted to I’d slaughter you and everyone in this stupid town right? Angel Eyes, I’ve killed clowns bigger than you, I hunt demons for a living, and personally have God and Lucifer after me.” I smirk and her eyes grow wide.

“We have immortal vampires and witches.” She says.

“I have a Castiel.” I laugh.

She glares at me and I continue to smile at her knowing it’s getting on her nerves.

“Fine I’ll just torture you.”

“Lady I lived in hell for 4 months, or 40 years in that hole. Nothing you do could faze me.” I smirk but she does the one thing I wished she wouldn’t have.

“You’re no fun!” She says and sits down on my couch and grabs my pie.

“Is this apple?” She asks as she takes a bite.

I could tears fill in my eyes.

“FINE! I’ll tell you where they are…. Just don’t eat my pie.” I sigh.

“Where are they?” She asks.

“First… Go eat a dick.” She punches me in the face while holding the pie and she tosses it in the trash.

“MY PIE! Alright, no more mister nice Squirrel!”

I cut the rope with a knife that I had in my belt and keep my hands behind my back until she gets to me and I stake her in the knee then kicks her leg out.

“Fuck I’m tired.” I say as I plant on my ass.

I pull out some vervain grenade and toss it in her face and get outta dodge.

I get into my baby and drive back to Sammy.

“Your stupid vampire twin is lucky I didn’t kill her.”

The two brothers look at each other.

“Katherine.” They say.

Sam pulls me aside.

“Listen, I don’t think we have any use for them… Maybe we should let Elena go?”

“Yeah we could do that and kill the other two.”

Sam cuts Elena’s rope and I point the Colt at Damon.

“NO DON’T PLEASE!” She begs.

“Awh but why not?” I ask.

“Please I’m begging you not to.” I could see the tears fall from her eyes and Sam gives me puppy dog eyes.

“Sammy.” I try to plea with him.

“Alright, fine, ruin my fun why don’t ya? Every party needs a pooper.” I roll my eyes.

Sam and I cut the ropes and I glare at them.

“If you kill someone, if you do something stupid, if you even make me angry I will hunt you down and kill you… Understood?” I ask.

“What are you doing in Mystic Falls anyway?” Asks Strapon.

“We’re looking for an ‘original vampire’.” Sam tells them.

“Klaus?” Elena asks.

“We’re actually after him right now.” Says Dildo.

“Cool, you three stay out of our way and we’ll kill him.” I say as Sammy and I leave.

“I’m going to bed.” I say as we get into the hotel.

“Yeah it’s been a long day.” Says Sam.

“Goodnight Sammy.”