Tall, Dark and Handsome

chapter 24

"What do you mean...no?" I asked, getting off of him to stand on my feet. I winced when he pushed back in his chair, almost as if he didn't want to be anywhere near me, already having covered himself up like nothing had happened minutes earlier.

"Amelia, how many times do I have to tell you?" Tom said in a tight strained voice. "I don't do love. I don't do feelings. I only fuck."

Blinking quickly, I furrowed my brows together, confused at what exactly what he was telling me. "What about all those times? All the cuddling? All the worrying about me when I was travelling at night? All those moments where you told me I was different and unlike the other girls? You're telling me you felt nothing? Nothing for me?" I asked incredulously, hearing my voice rise with every word spoken. How could he think that there was nothing ever between us? Wasn't his heart beating as fast as mine whenever he looked at me as it did for me when I looked at him?

He fixed me with a measuring gaze. "I think there was a misunderstanding at some point."

"Bullshit!" I cried, stepping back when he got off his chair to hold me. My eyes blurred from my furious hot tears. "So, you're saying you never loved me? And I was just another girl opening her legs for you in bed?"

"Why do you have to make things sound so ugly?" Tom replied curtly, eyes narrowing at me. I knew I was making him angry from my accusations. Good. I wanted him angry. I wanted him to feel the blinding pain rippling throughout my body when he turned me down and made me seem like a romantic fool who fell by his feet.

"Me?" I shouted, pointing at myself between my breasts. "I'm the one telling you that I fell for you and you're the one who's telling me there was nothing except for-for-for sex! How does that make me any different from those girls you've had past relationships with?" I demanded for him to answer through gritted teeth. "Tell me!" I stomped my foot for emphasis, sick and tired of him looking anywhere but me like I was his hideous mistake.

"I don't know what to say." He finally answered in a small voice, locking his eyes with mine. For a second there I was taken aback by his eyes brimming with tears and one escaping, running down the hard curvature of his cheekbone. He quickly licked it off as it ran past his mouth as he continued to stare at me. My heart dropped to my stomach at the sight.

I was suddenly tired. I was tired of having to always figure out what he was feeling, following his emotional roller coaster where he was the cold callous man he made himself to be and then bring me into soaring heights of love and affection when he hugged and kissed me, whispering sweet nothings into my ear late at night when he thought I was sleeping. For the first time, I didn't want to continue down this treacherous path into the unknown. "I don't think I can do this anymore..." I sighed, stepping back further, putting my hand in front of me to stop him from approaching me any further. I shook my head. "Please, don't come near me." I didn't think I could handle him touch me and hold me like he always did.

It was like he got slapped in the face. "Don't do this, Amelia." Tom pleaded, another tear running down his cheek. "Please."

"I can't do this." I shrugged, looking around his office. "You come into my life, make me fall in love with you, only for you to break me."

"Amelia..."

"I don't want to be another notch in your belt." I choked out through a rising sob in my chest. It felt like I was punched in the gut and had the wind knocked right out of me when I dehumanized myself to that level. "I think I'm going to go now...I need some time to think." Giving him one last look, I turned around and walked out of his office, fighting back another wave of tears. When I finally entered the elevators alone, I slid down the wall and sat on the floor, finally breaking down and crying for the pain of having someone who didn't love me as much as I loved him.