Cupcakes and Mistakes

21

Lisa's POV

"Can you believe it? Citifield? We're finally having a stadium tour?! Like, do you know how many people will be attending that concert? Oh my God, Lisa! It was sold fucking out!!!!" he was animatedly playing with his hands as if he can like, imagine everything that is about to happen, his bunny smile available for me to see.

Like always, my heart beats so fast just the sight of him.

And it's so unfair that he has that much effect on me. It's so unfair that he can make and break me like this.

Their stadium tour is in two days and Bangtan had been out of the country for more than a month now, jumping from places to another.

A force smile show at the corner of my lips as I saw him getting all excited.

"Oh Lisa, you should have seen the stage. It was effin' huge!"

He was so happy.

And I am happy for him. He deserves everything that he has right now - the fame, the love and supports their group is getting. He deserves everything. He deserves to be happy.

But these past two months, things had been so hard for me.

I never told Jungkook about what I saw on his phone. I was waiting, hoping that he'd be honest about it. That it was just some misunderstanding.

But it's fucking two months and I never heard a word. Fine, the first month, we barely saw each other due to our busy schedules. Now the second month, he was away completing his tours.

Then again, it's still fucking two months.

I know something was up.

Twice, I have seen Sejeong briefly and that mischievous expression she's keeping whenever our eyes lock tells me she's up to something, like, there was something going on and I'm not aware of it.

I have never wanted to smack the living hell out of her until the last time I saw her. She rolled her eyes at me and gave me one last grin before marching her ugly ass away from me.

I didn't know the devil was disguised as a girl.

There were days when I was trying to call Jungkook's phone but there were moments that his phone was out of reach. It was fucking busy.

Slowly, I'm getting drown over this discomfort, weird thoughts clouding on my head.

I wanted to trust him, to think that everything was still fine between us. But it's not. And I feel like he doesn't even notice.

Granted that I wasn't a hundred percent it was her but fuck, my mind can't even think of any other person that he can call 'Sej'.

I want to stop those negative thoughts but it keeps coming in and it's affecting my relationship with him.

"Hey, something wrong?" he asked and I brought out of my train of thoughts when I heard him speak. I almost forgot we were video calling.

I forced another smile and look at him.

"I'm good Kookie. Just a little exhausted," I whispered and his expression changed.

"How's the preparation for your World Tour cupcake?" his voice softened and something clenched inside me. I can feel it, his concern for me but why the fuck does I keep on getting distracted?

I tried to act livelier. I don't want him to worry and spoil the excitement that he has for his upcoming concert.

"It was great. I'm learning new choreography," I told him. "And you're not gonna like it," I laughed a little, this time, it was genuine laughter as I picture his expression once he sees my dance number.

His face immediately darkens and I tried to suppress laughter.

"Lisa, I swear if you're going to dance closely with that guy again," he hissed and I watch as his hand pushes his hair backwards, frustration showing on his face.

He was always like that, openly showing me how jealous he is with guys.

Yet I can't tell him I'm close to exploding because of his stupid ex.

Or is she really now just an "ex"?

"Cupcake, are you okay? You keep spacing out..." he whispered and I bit my lower lip along the process, my eyes avoiding his gaze.

Thank God I was in my room as we were given enough time to rest.

"Lisa look at me," his voice was hoarse and I knew by this time he's starting to worry.

Fuck. Don't cry Lisa, please. Don't let him see that he's breaking you.

"Lisa, you're scaringe me. Is something wrong? Do you have anything you want to tell me?"

And that's what it took for me to snap.

"You Jungkook, do you have anything you want to tell me?" I asked back. I knew my voice sounded harse and there's a force on every bit of words I sputter.

It resonated within the room and for a moment, I thought I'm about to lose it.

His eyes widened as if he was caught off-guard. Whether because of the tone that I use or because of my question, I didn't know.

His face softened and I saw him sigh.

"Am I keeping you for long? Do you want to rest?" he asked and I laughed bitterly.

"Do you want us to stop this?"

I knew by this time, I was already talking about something else. Call me names, I don't care but these emotions I've been keeping, they're in compact and somehow I am scared it's now a ticking bomb.

I'm ready to explode.

"Calm dowm cupcake," I saw how his jaw tightened and I wet my lower lip as I try to stop my emotion.

Calm down, Lisa.

"Sorry, let's just," a sigh escaped my lips as I try to calm down, "Let's take a rest. You have a concert coming up. Go to sleep, Jeon," I told him and I saw how he was looking at me intently.

"We cool Lisa?" he asked and I stared at him for a moment.

God, who I love him?

"Of course. I was just tired,  sorry I snapped," I whispered, wishing this call will soon end.

I'm about to lose it.

"Alright, take a rest cupcake. Talk to you soon," he smiled at me and I force my own

"Goodnight..." I whispered before ending the video call.

I lifted my gaze on the ceiling as I try to stop the tears threathening to spill.

Fuck it. Why is it hard to love a Jeon Jungkook?