Cookie Treat

Outburst

“We should go ahead” Susan hurries everyone leaving her brother parking the car. The restaurant has pillars instead of walls, three tables empty. It seems to be glowing from here, welcoming every guest, my heart. I spent my child years here and left those memories trapped inside.

“Have you received a raise today?” I blurt out one of my guesses that make them freeze on their tracks

Susan’s face lightens, probably calming herself before answering the only clueless person of the night. If ignorance is bliss to me it can also be bothersome to people like Susan. I plan to annoy her but she knows my limitations. “It’s my brother’s raise.” She answers, twirling to walk again like nothing happened.

The thought of backing away, running away from all this sprouted from my mind the moment the words sank in. Don’t run away you fool! My consciousness disapproves the thought unless you have something to deny; the more you hate, the more you love. Don’t make that fact obvious. I want to slap the source of that small voice, I don’t have those kinds of feelings!

“Are you ok?” El twists half her body to look at me trailing from behind them

Should I tell her everything? About my dislike of Danny, along the reasons behind it? There are many reasons, petty reasons. It makes me puke just thinking of it.

“You’re not talking much since you got home” she follows up.

“I’m just a little bit tired” I ended and drag my feet on the ground.

“Aunty Martha, hurry we should get the best table they have” a chirpy voice demands behind our group, I can hear doors of car closing. The realization stopped me on my tracks—best table they have, mom is here, surely dad too.

“Have your feet grown roots?” Susan trudging towards me and El.

“Is there a problem?” El puts her hand on my back to give some comfort

“Just thinking—maybe I’ll just go back to the dorm.. you can go ahead without me

“Only now? When you’ll be treated—so not like you” look who’s talking now, her tone makes me more brittle.

“Ok” my shoulders cringe in depression. Rejecting their offer will only make me uncomfortable since I treated them one of my family, my sisters. I ramble behind Susan, El links her arm around mine, half leading me while fusing out my own anxiety keeping my back on my bossy niece.

“Just found the right size for us” Mindy rests her palm on the table looking at us with her usual mischievous grin. I take the first chair keeping my back from possible better table in the place also enough to support myself from falling. I feel all my energy washing away. Their stupid little secret makes me even more afraid than the thought of meeting dad here.

“Elise, let’s go to the CR” Susan snatches El away from me.

“I’ll come too” Mindy nods

“Hey don’t leave me alone”

“You keep watch of our place while Danny isn’t here yet” Susan decides on my will. I really hate it. I observe their backs leading to the CR. I felt my chest constricting when the hall to the CR was just straight-front from my vision.

Chills crawling in my back bone causing me to straighten my depressed back. “Are we all here?” dad yells in excitement. Yes we’re all here, my yearning yells in me after my nephews and niece answered back with the same eagerness. I want to be sitting with them too.

“I want waffles with ice-cream on top” Jim starts yelling

“I want spaghetti, two plates spaghetti” Lito grunts when Gina broke out into giggles