Chasing Rain ✓

Play Way

There is no relation purer than that with your mother and there is no relationship sinner than that with your mother
               -Rain

Rain POV

Sometimes words are not important to express yourself and this is how I describe my relationship with my daughter.

She was born mute and yes no operation can change this fact. At the beginning it was difficult to handle her. She could not cry like normal babies. She has tears in her eyes but there was no sound to her sobs.

When she was still in my womb and I was told that I was expecting a daughter, I was in an euphoria. I always wanted a daughter. It was quite selfish of me but what can I say I wanted to relive my childhood and through her explore the treasured childhood again.

But two months before my delivery, I stumbled down the stairs. I was rushed to the hospitals. The doctors believed I would have a stillbirth but no, my baby was strong and she survived. But when the doctors tapped her back to make her cry, she had tears in her eyes but no voice left her tiny mouth. Later it was discovered that her voice box was not completely developed.

A piece of me broke that day thinking that she would never call me mommy but what can we say? The god was generous enough to provide me with a daughter ever after that fatal fall so I never complained and happily accepted her.

I felt someone tugging at the hem of my sundress, I looked down to see my baby holding the biggest smile on her face with a ball in her tiny hands.

"Honey you again got lost in your thoughts. Aren't you doing it to often these days?"

My dear nana asked me. I know she was teasing me. After my second last break up nana was behind me to marry my fiance so that my daughter could get a father figure. But I am not ready to take that step. But I also know she just wants the best for me. After all she is like wait not like, she is my mother.

She was looking at me with a raised eyebrow waiting for my sarcastic remark but before I could give her what she wanted, I heard someone clapping.

I looked down at Amber who was impatiently looking in my direction and pointing the ball towards me. I know what she meant. She was reminding her forgetful mother that they were suppose to go to the park.

I picked her petite body in my arms as I cooed her,

"We will leave just in a moment."

I put her down and her face fell. Like always she expected me to carry her in my arms but I couldn't do that because the pregnancy made me real weak and carrying her meant me fainting due to exhaustion. She is not chubby. Infact due to being born premature, she is still underweight but still I couldn't fulfill this want of hers.

At these moments I wished she had a dad. Someone who was capable of holding her. Amber looked a lot like her father. She got his grey eyes along with my platinum blonde hair. Also her face structure was a lot like him. But he could never be a part of our family.

Pushing that thought aside, I looked towards nana. Her eyes held empathy. She knew full well what I was thinking so she mouthed a take care and relax. I simply nodded my head.

“We are leaving.”, I announced.

"Take care my cupcakes.", nana said as she waved her hand and Amber  enthusiastically returned her wave. I chuckled at her adorable act. I gave her my pinky finger and she wrapped her tiny right palm around it.