Look At Me

three - teenager

"Mallory, the doctor said I can't deal with stress after my incident. Please." Her mother beseeched hands clasped together and her eyebrows knitted upwards tightly. Her mother's heart, now disabled, utilises the recent pacemaker implanted within her. She never ever thought her adult life would be like this, not in a million years.

Mallory though, disregards her mother pleas as she was tuned into her new phone. "Sure." She replied in a flat tone before walking out the door and meeting David, her new boyfriend, so new, he doesn't know about Mallory's butchered belly-button or her insatiable need for attention.

As she steps out the cold air blasts it's way past her exposed legs and bare arms. Mallory hasn't been wearing as much since she started high-school and social media. Keeping weight off was more important then her mother's meals. When her stomach would growl she would drink water, when she felt weak and fatigued she would conjure up a nonsensical argument just to gain energy from. You could call her a leech.

Those old men scouring the Internet for young girls took fondness to Mallory, she liked it to, in her mind it makes it fine. Those old men saw more than Mallory's mother has and could ever dream of.
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David and her had arrived at school almost two hours late. Mallory wasn't an academic, she strived more for the popular side of things. David had lustful eyes for Mallory, he had already expected sex after just one night of dating. Mallory said yes even though they are both only 16. I mean, imagine the tale she would tell her innocent classmates and the gasping she would snatch and use for her own malicious ways.

A new kid arrived at school today. Mallory was hot on her toes to inspect this fresh meat. When she saw the slender figure and blond wavy hair Mallory's heart shattered into sharp pieces and echoed as they hit her hollow insides. Stacey Donovan. Mallory could felt hot tears rising from the sides of her squinted eyeballs. She peered at David who was gone.

"David?" She called, stress boiling under her skin. As she frantically looked everywhere she found his sorry body leaning next to Stacey. Mallory's face burned with rage and her eyes watered with despair. "David, honey!" She hollered out, trying to contain her anguish. Her cries were futile as David continued to chat up Stacey, his arm caressing hers.

"No, no, no, no." Mallory worriedly quietly wailed, her fingers curled in distress. "Why does that bitch always do this to me?"

Mallory's chest felt light, but it was a heavy light. Like when silence is deafening, her chest was filled with nothing. No one was staring at her, no one cared. Her shadow was by her side and she felt her self dispersing into the ground, joining the shadow community one which rarely gets noticed and dies in the night time.

She had to do something, anything to get his attention. Her eyes darted hurriedly around the school premises and the boulder across the yard was the thing she caught on. Mallory excitedly walked over to it and it's jagged edges. She lifted her right arm and pushed it against one of the rough and protruding edges. All the isolation and desolation Mallory has inside of her she exerted through her flesh onto the rock. The pain was excruciating and throbbed all along her new gash, of which blood was flowing out of.

Mallory ran up to Stacey and David, crocodile tears she played. "David, I fell. Oh my gosh, babe it burns." She stared at him wide-eyed and intensely desperate. David and Stacey's eyes enlarged with shock as they stared at the crimson liquid dripping down her arm and staining her white shirt. "Shit." David muttered.

"David, do something." She pleaded feeling herself disappearing from his care. "David please. You need to do something!" Mallory raised her voice a little higher becoming worried for her own worth. But David just stood there, and deep inside he has already neglected her and he knows this. "Go to the office or something." He said half-heartedly before cautiously walking away, Stacey on his arm.

"David I'm bleeding! I'm bleeding David!" She calls out, voice breaking and her insides trembling with abandonment and emptiness. Mallory just stood there, helpless, her arm dripping of wasted blood. Nothing hurt more than her soul. She collapsed onto the ground and sobbed into her knees. Her body jolting with intense snivelling.

To make matters worse the cold air whipped back and forth her broken body, it was strong enough to send bits of dust soaring through the wind which stung her tear stained cheek on contact. She quietly wailed whilst her abdomen crunched and knotted itself sending shooting pains around her waist.

Mallory got her phone out and went on her social media page. She only had a hundred followers, most of which old men, this made her want to wallow in her despair even more. Mallory wanted a platoon of followers, who would notice her every move and praise her like the god she thinks she is.

What a perfect opportunity, to gain pity follows.

She took a photo of her incised arm and posted it under various hashtags related to suicide. She knew what she was doing was bad, but hey, that hasn't stopped her before.

In an instant Mallory's phone was vibrating non-stop and her post was going viral. Her eyes lit up and glistened as they scanned the abundance of comments and likes. The wind didn't upset her anymore, the dust that stung was trivial - she was now a star.