Look At Me

one - child

"Have fun on your first day darling." Mallory's mother cooed, sliding her hand over Mallory's thin blond hair tightly wrapped into a bun. Mallory smiles, autonomously. Her peach lips curling upwards. Her mother hints in her smile, something off putting, something that told her Mallory was not right. She always had an inkling, especially when the little girl tried stab her first goldfish. She would never forget the vigorous movement of a noodle like arm swinging up and down, water splashing everywhere.

"Yes I will." Mallory replied, chestnut eyes wide and absorbedly peering into her mother's innocent ones.

---

"Okay children, I want to paint your family! Make them beautiful and bright." Ms. Katherine said in a sing-song tone. Mallory waited for all the other rancid little children to sit at their desks. The chatter was loud and piercing, Mallory couldn't stand the whining voices. Somehow, she needed it. She needed to feel the hatred; she was feeding off these brats.

She walked, slyly, over to one of the children, who busily sweeps his arm left and right paint flying on the page and onto his pudge face. Mallory braved a smile.

"Hello! Can I sit next to you?" She excitedly chirped, eyes glistening. The chubby boy turned his face, his cheeks push his eyes into a squinting position.

"Sure!" He cheered, pushing all his paint and paraphernalia roughly to the side making space for Mallory. She cautiously set herself down and stared at her blank piece of paper. "Draw your family!" His voice boomed next to her, she flinched a bit, feeling irritated by his outwardness. She nodded her head.

Three stick figures, poorly painted with black is what is on Mallory's paper. She feels a heaviness in her chest but it's empty. Sometimes it hurts, she can feel her heart race and her muscles cramp. Today it was okay.

"Do you like my painting?" She asked the kid next to her. He looked and she sees his eyes glance over the page. The cogs in his brain turn as he grimaces.

"It's a bit plain Mary. I can't tell who is your mummy and daddy."

"My name is Mallory!" She screamed, pushing the kid off his little undersized plastic chair. She watched with satisfaction as he rolled onto the ground. His bottom lip starts to quiver and his eyes squint, more than she thought they would. Watching him wail and his face scrunch lit up the desolate place in her chest. A wide smile played on her lips.

Ms. Katherine ran over to the boy screeching on the floor. "Did you do this Mallory?" She questioned, one hand under his back.

Keeping the smirk she shakes her head slowly left to right. "Yes she did!" He whined prolonging the last sounds. "Come on up, let's just leave this alone." Ms. Katherine helped the boy to his feet as she walked him away, his hands brushing past his cheeks ridding the wet tears.

As they walked away Mallory felt herself disappearing again, back into the deserted place she where emotions were dead. She slumped back in her chair, deciding to envelop in this depression instead of chasing after energy.