Red Like Rubies

Reasons Why

"You... called me. And I didn't..." Sebastian felt tears in his eyes.

"Please... just delete the messages." Joseph laid his hand on his arm. "I wasn't myself that night."

"I will listen to them."

"I don't want you to feel guilty for anything. It's not your fault."

"I feel guilty. And it is my fault."

Joseph just hugged him and stroked his back. "I have depressions. Just so you know... you couldn't have stopped me that night."

"I would have driven to that motel and held you all night long. No, I would have taken you here and would have held you all night long. I would have done anything..."

"Please don't cry." Joseph held him tightly, shaking himself.

"How can I not cry? You almost died and I couldn't do anything to stop you... I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most. What kind of partner am I?!"

"You're there for me now and I still need you." Joseph leaned his head against Sebastian's. "Let's eat now, okay?"

"Okay." Sebastian nodded and whipped away the tears.

They headed to the dining room where Joseph's stomach was obviously happy to see all the food. It made Sebastian smile a little.

"Go on, take what you want."

Joseph sat down and grabbed a sandwich. Sebastian sat down next to him and just watched him eat. His appetite was gone by now.

"Aren't you hungry?", Joseph asked.

"I'm waiting for dinner." Sebastian faked a smile.

"I shouldn't eat that much then..."

"Nonsense, eat whatever you want. If you aren't hungry at dinner anymore it's okay, too. Just get filled up now. You need it."

"I don't know. It would be impolite to not eat dinner and I am okay now. The hunger is gone."

"Okay, if you say so..."

"I want a sandwich!" Lily suddenly appeared in the kitchen, jumping on Joseph's lab to get one. Obviously surprised he held her so she wouldn't fall down.

"Can I show him Jo-Jo now?!" She looked with puppy eyes at Sebastian.

"Sure but no food in your room, dear."

"Ah, man! Hold that for me!" She gave Joseph the sandwich, climbed back down from his lab and ran out of the room. A few seconds later she came back with a book in her hands.

"Here, look!" She handed the book to Joseph, taking the sandwich instead.

"Jo-Jo, the monkey", he read out loud. "Oh... I guess I do look like him." He smiled a little when he saw the monkey with glasses on the cover.

"Hah! I was right!" Lily grinned. "Can I call you Jo-Jo?"

"If you want."

"Yes! Do you want to play with me, Jo-Jo? I have finger paints!"

"Uhm..." Joseph obviously was overstrained. "You want me... to play with you?"

"Yeees!" Lily grabbed his hand. "I want your handprint on my wall! Next to Mummy and Daddy and me and Juanita and Melanie and Aylin and Fran!" She went tiptoe and whispered: "They are all my bestest friends."