Another Tainted Beauty- Fan-Fic

Another Tainted Beauty

Sonnet 18

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date".

- William Shakespeare

I read out load and then let out a dramatically large sigh, not out of relief, nor out of misery, it was just a sigh of hope, a hope that one day I could be loved. Loved like Romeo loved Juliet, Loved like Noah loved Allie, and Loved like Robin loved Nightingale. 

Many moons, and many suns have passed since I last fell in love. The only time I fell in love. Clarence came to mind immediately. I quickly brushed off the thought and ignored the empty feeling that I've been left with.

Loneliness was a virus and love a disease. I'd rather forever keep my heart safe and at ease.

I learned to not sit in sadness too long, because there was no point. Emotions are temporary and I was taught to not dwell in the bad ones too long.  I was brought into an evil world and though there is some good I still could not shake off the pain and torture I felt from the moment my eyes opened.

 In the beginning years of my freedom I had trouble between differentiating kindness and love. Everyone who was kind to me immediately had my heart. Though my days were short at the Bordello I had seen enough cruelty to traumatize me for a lifetime.

I threw my latest book to the side. I laid sprawled out on my queen size bed. It was angelic and flowed with loads of fluffy pillows. I wanted to call Nightingale but I didn't want to be annoying. I called her quite often especially when I felt lonely and the depression began to set in. Her voice was the most soothing and beautiful voice in the world. It would constantly take me to a safe place and I will never forget what she has done for me since the second we met. She showed me what strength and bravery is.

I rolled into a ball and cornered myself at the edge of my bed, and decided I would call once and if she did not answer I will just pour myself another glass of Jolie or Belladonna and get ready for work.

No answer. 

I got out the shower and the wine put me in a dancing mood. I walked up to my new generation holographic Iplayer that took up the whole left side of the wall in my room. I separated the song categories into centuries because I did quite enjoy music from each century. Today felt like a 21st Century Lana Del Ray kind of day. I slightly glided my hand down the wall scrolling until I found the perfect song to match my mood. I lip sang and sashayed around until it was time to go to work.

***********

 I got to work and stared at the big beautiful restaurant. It had an ancient Greek theme. Designs of Greek gods and goddesses colored the walls. The restaurant was a couple stories high but was created on the ground and spiraled up. The outside deck spiraled out as well and had inner steps as well as outer steps. Golden and bronzed colors painted the walls. I was proud of where I worked and had made a very well living off of this job. My days were now very routine and it no longer held the same excitement as when I first started. I sighed and went around back to park.

 Another day another dollar. Work was the same as always. Serve others, smile pretty, ignore the looks of lust and disgust. I went up to my manager, she was sweet, and reminded me of what my idea of a mother would be like. After my freedom it was hard to find a job many thought of us Inamoratas as soulless or dumb. Some thought we were evil and others thought of us as survivors. There were funds set up to help Inamoratas start new lives, but since so many of us were created, it was only enough to get started and live for a little while until the need for a job was desperate.