Storming Sky

FOREVER AND ALWAYS

"You jump off of that for fun?" I asked credulously, pointing to the giant ledge in front of us. I had escaped my lessons for a few hours to go comb the beach with Jake. One could only take so much of online history lectures and an overpriced version of Kahn Academy.

"Well, I mean, we do," Jake smirked. "We also are strong enough to beat the waves. Most civilians jump from further down, where the impact isn't so hard."

"Most civilians?" I inquired.

"Shit happens," he shrugged. Then I remembered. Bella was one of those "civilians" who took a leap of faith. I had always believed her when she said she wasn't trying to kill herself. Seeing the ledge now for the first time, I wasn't so sure.

I kept taking steps forward, looking at the intensity of the waves and not really thinking about where I was going. It wasn't until Jake was grabbing my arm and pulling me towards him that I realized I went too far.

"Dani!" Jake shouted, trying to get me to look at him.

"Sorry," I apologized. "I wasn't paying attention."

"Clearly," he said, pulling me to him. "Don't do that."

"Do you think I'd do it?" I questioned, pulling away. "Did you really think I was going to jump?"

"I think we both know that I have no idea what you're capable of," he sighed, kissing my forehead.

"I wouldn't," I promised.

"Even if you lost me?" Jake whispered. I took a sharp breath. That was the last thing I wanted to think about.

"I'm not going to lose you," I argued, shoving the feelings down.

"You're going to stay human, though, right? What happens if you lose all of us?"

"I don't know what I'm doing, Jake," I warned him. Bella still hadn't completely convinced me that she needed me to stay human, and Ryan surely wasn't giving me any answers. I was still hell bent on being in that clearing. I'm sure that one walk down to my house would cure my humanity in a second, Jake just didn't know that.

If I was still a human, though? If someone did give me a good enough reason to let my family die? I didn't think I would be around much longer after that. I'd have Billy. Charlie. All of the mourning families on the reservation. I could leave them, though. They'd understand, even though they wouldn't know the multitude of my loss.

Even if I did survive, did decide to go on without them, I would never love anyone as madly and deeply as I loved Jacob Black, though. I would never be able to fall in love again. I would never truly have a family. Billy would die, Charlie would die, and then I'd be alone. Alone with the other imprints. How many of them would make it through that kind of pain? Sure, they'd have their families, but it was overwhelmingly painful to be away from Jake for a few hours, never mind knowledge that he would never come back. No, I didn't think I would make it.

"I didn't mean to make you upset," Jake apologized, turning me around and braiding my hair. It was getting windy. I would be freezing if it wasn't for Jake.

"You die, I die," I whispered. He deserved to know. He was going to argue with me, to the ends of the earth if necessary, but I didn't care. If he was dead, he couldn't stop me.

"What if some in your family live? They can't wipe out everyone. You could go track down Alice and Jasper," Jake suggested. I shook my head.

"They left. They don't want to be a part of this family anymore," I told him. "I don't want to talk about this anymore," I complained. I wanted to enjoy the last moments I had while the people I loved were still alive.