Storming Sky

TRIALS

Under the best of circumstances, death is difficult. Losing my mother was one of the most painful experiences of my life, and I was still far too young to understand what death was. Even though I knew Esme and Carlisle were my parents, and my siblings were my siblings, there was still a hole in my chest. The woman who gave birth to me, who was my entire world for five years, was suddenly no longer there. As I grew up, there was a longing that I always felt guilty for. My mom was dead, and I never got closure from that.

The same pit in my stomach followed me around for most of the night. Edward had texted Jake around 3:00 AM saying that he should gather the pack and make his way over to the clearing as soon as possible. As soon as Jake woke me up – normally he didn't, but this time was different – I knew what conversation we were going to have.

"We didn't have enough time," I whimpered. "It's not fair."

"I know," Jake whispered, holding me close. "I know."

"You better make it out of this alive, Jacob Black. You better be one of the people who makes it out alive," I warned him. I was trying desperately to keep myself together. If he did...if something bad did happen, I didn't want his last image of me to be an emotional dumpster fire.

"I will do everything I can, baby," he promised me. "You packed your go bag, right?" He asked, looking around. He needed to leave.

"Jake," I pulled him so he was looking at me again. "I mean it. If it comes down to a fight, you leave and you come find me. I don't care how selfish I'm being, I don't care if the rest of the pack is still fighting. You follow Seth and Renesmee, and you leave." I wasn't sure if I revealed too much information, but he had to know what Bella's plan was.

"I can't, baby. I'm an alpha. First one in, last one out."

"This is bigger than the wolf-pack, Jake. This is about Renesmee, and keeping her safe. Giving her a family. Keeping as much of my family together as possible. If Seth and Renesmee go, you go. Promise me," I told him. He looked tortured.

"I can't," he groaned. "I can't leave my pack behind."

"You will," I vowed. I didn't know how Bella planned to get Renesmee and Seth in on everything, but I'm sure she had a plan. I didn't want to reveal anything else, so I let it go. I trusted Bella. My Jacob would make it out of this battle alive. I couldn't think of the alternative.

"We have to go," Jake nudged, kissing me before getting out of bed and throwing some clothes on. He was going to drop me off at Emily's before the boys left. Anyone who didn't have an imprint was already out patrolling. It was going to be a tough day for a lot of people.

Kim was screaming. Literally clutching her chest and screaming. Emily was doing her best to calm her down – Claire was here as well, still sleeping, and she didn't want to disturb her. Claire was probably the luckiest. Quil's goodbye was pretty sappy, but Claire had no idea what was going on. The rest of us were terrified. There was a very real chance that we would never see our wolves again. Even Rachel knew how bad this was.

If I could relate to anyone in this situation, it was her. She was the only one other than me who was at risk of losing more than a life partner. She had already lost her mother, her sister lived permanently in Hawaii, and now both the love of her life and her baby brother were off fighting a war they didn't belong in. We kept stealing glances at each other.

"This is your fault!" Kim started yelling.

"Kim!" Emily gasped. I nodded. She was right. In her eyes, I was a great person to blame. I hadn't said anything since Jake left. I didn't even cry. I sat on the couch and retreated into myself, trying to fight the feelings off. I had cried enough over this day in anticipation. It was here now, and there was nothing I could do about it.