Summer Camp (Ryllon)

Nineteen: He's my boy

I don't remember falling asleep. I made Ryan eat, then we fell asleep with him in my arms. He's still asleep, I'm now outside talking to Mikey, Spencer, Gerard, and Frank. The only people I trust to know things between Ryan and I. Closely, at least.

"Then he started coughing and then threw up in the bathroom. He was shaking really bad and crying and could barely stand, and I brought him back here. Thank god I didn't skip health when we learned CPR," I say, and they smile sadly to lighten the mood.

"You saved him. You saved his life," Mikey says and I nod. I did, yeah. I wanna go up to Ryan, just say, "whether you like it or not, I saved your life" and make him know that I'm never gonna let him give up.

"You're in love with him," Spencer says. They all look tense and look at Spencer, then me. They're expecting me to deny it. I look down.

"I am, yeah," I say, nodding as I stare at my legs. The image of Ryan giving me a blowjob suddenly flashes in my mind and I look up to avoid thinking about it. "I really am."

The boys stare at me in shock but at the same time I know that they're not surprised. They're just surprised that I admitted it.

I let out a small laugh, shaking my head.

"God, it's so dumb," I say.

"Oh my god, Ryan was right," Gerard says. I look at them.

"You really do smile when you're with him or talking about him," Frank adds to ease my confusion, but now I'm just blushing.

"Why wouldn't you smile when he's the reason you're happy?" I ask softly. They exchange looks.

"Are you gonna ask him out?" Spencer asks.

"I want to, but... I don't know. Ryan deserves the absolute best and I'm afraid that... I'll hurt him or lose him, that I'm not good enough. Or that he will say no if I asked him."

"Ryan really-" Spencer hits Mikey's arm and they all look behind me. Ryan suddenly sits next to me and I carefully wrap my arm around his waist.

"Hey," I say. He places his right hand on the left side of my face and kisses me. I kiss back, but it's nothing but a short and sweet kiss. He pulls away and I kiss his cheek, then have him lean into me. Ryan snuggles his face into the crook of my neck and I hold him close, kissing the top of his head before leaning against it.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly.

"Why?"

"For making you save me and help me. And apparently worry about me."

"No, no, no, I'd do that for you any time. I lo-...um, I care about you, okay? I'll always be here for you." I internally hit myself when I realize I almost told him I love him.

"We all love you, man," Mikey says, slightly saving me from my mistake. Ryan looks at them, sighing softly. Spencer places his hand on Ryan's knee, smiling sadly, then takes it away.

"I love you guys too," Ryan says quietly. We all smile at him and he looks up at me. He smiles a bit. I kiss him for a couple of seconds, pull away, and then we kiss again a few times. Short little pecks to make him smile, but we both end up smiling anyway. He laughs lightly and rests his head on my shoulder. The boys stare in shock but also smile a bit.

He's my boy.