Ramblings about my life

re; music

*sighs* this rant is not about music. i just happened to find this song.

I am currently recovering from having a cold and I was around my crush for like half a day before I had to go home again cuz my fever spiked, and I wanna say that he's just the cutest thing ever. I wish I could man up and tell him how I feel, I know I've already asked him out; I want to tell him in a way that leaves zero room for doubt; but I don't think I can. 

He's the cutest little thing ever and hey, if you're reading this, darling, I love you so much and seeing you hurting is just killing me. I love you more than I could ever say and I trust you with my life and I just sit here and hope and pray that something I do or say will get through so you'll understand that I am here for you no matter what. 

 I love you unconditionally, even when you're hurting and when you're hiding from everyone.

 I trust you with everything I am and I hope you can trust me as well.

legit writing this at 12:40 am. just bored i guess, i can't really sleep rn.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0F7xfeRKtY

I dunno if the link'll work but here's pt. 2 of this rant. it's legit 4:47 am and I feel like somebody's staring at me from the foot of my bed. 

I love this song and now that I know the lyrics it reminds me so much of a person I like. He is fragile and adorable and so very broken right now and I just hope something I say or do will get through to him and let him know that I love him and that I am always here for him. I trust him with everything I am and hope someday he'll feel the same. I love him unconditionally and if he ever gets hurt by some a**hole or hurts himself it would throw such a wrench into my life; I wouldn't be able to focus on anything other than him, hoping and praying he's okay.

Welp. just used my computer screen as a light and either I cast a weird shadow or something ducked out of view. officially freaked but gonna post anyways. gonna check again here ugh this is too freaky rn.

ugh plate, wtf did you have to send so many messages on bury a friend? now i swear im seeing xalla at the foot of my bed everytime i look without using my computer light. reee im so gonna get you back for this.