insane

part five

i'm broken. smashed to pieces. and i'll continue to fall apart.

i cant do it anymore.

this is all too hard.

i look at the knife in my hand, sweat dripping down my forehead and my palms going clammy.

my feet drag on the sidewalk as tears stream down my cheeks. my throat is raw from screaming and my face is red.

i've finally lost my mind.

and i'm not sure if i want to find it.

it's a short walk to your apartment, and i know he'll be there too. the perfect crime.
i wander slowly, laughing maniacally whilst tears pool in the corners of my eyes.

my hand pushes down the door handle and a resultant 'click' sounds out quietly.
i hear faint laughing, and a voice that sounds like angels themselves are speaking. my feet patter on the carpet as i follow the sounds.

time slows down.

one

two

three

four

five

the door slams open, everything turns to slow motion. your eyes widen and you push him off you.

i'm sorry jungkook, it never should have been this way.

"jimin, what the hell are you doing? why'd you have a knife?" you yell, panic laces your speech. it no longer sounds like sugar.

i walk towards him and scream.

"you took him away from me, you fucking asshole!" my voice echoes through the room and he stands there, stunned.

"jimin, what are you talking about? put the knife down!" he reaches towards me, big mistake.

i slash the knife into his skin and he shrieks out in pain, blood seeping out and falling to the rug.
jungkook screams out and grabs him.

"jungkook, even now you don't see how much i adore you." i laugh.

"you love me?" he shouts.

"yes, you fucking idiot, i'm so in love with you it hurts. i cant live without you, but now we will be together." i speak.

that's when i do it.

i raise my arm above my head and throw it down, plunging it into his chest. i stan again, the metal sinking further into his flesh.

he tries to scream out and it sounds like he's being strangled. jungkook screams, now crying, and wraps his arms around him.

"tut tut, you're spilling blood everywhere!" i shake my head in disapproval and jungkook looks at me in horror.

"what have you done?!" he shouts, trying to punch me. i don't move away.

i feel the connection- the fist smacking against my cheek bone.
my head falls back and i laugh.

i finally feel alive.

jungkook stops for a second and stares at me.

i see a different reflection.

his skin isn't painted by the sun anymore, it's pale and colourless. his eyes are hollow and empty- damaged.

i broke the one person i loved more than anything.

"i.. i. i don't know what to say." i mumble.

i look at his body laying lifeless on the floor and let out a hiss.

jungkook stares at me again, this is what i wanted right? i wanted him all to myself? i got what i wanted.

then why doesn't it feel like it?

"fuck!" i yell out. jungkook flinches.

he's scared of me.

i let out a defeated sigh and walk over the knife that lays discarded and bloody on the floor.

"i'm sorry i couldn't be what you wanted." that's when i stab him. his eyes snap open and horror is smeared across his face.

his hands go to the wound in shock, trying to stop the bleeding. i stab once more and put him on the bed.

i feel as his body goes limp and place his arm around my shoulder.

we lay there, finally together as we should be.

my hands stained with blood and tears salty on my cheeks.

eyes close and my head leans against his.

that's where i stay,

that's where i wait for the sirens.

that's where i wait for them to get me.

to put me in handcuffs and lock me up forever. but i know it was all worth it. i got what i wanted in the end.

everlasting love.
perfectly insane.