Kaleidescope Effect

Aphantasia

[Present]
            Today was the day I seen the most spectacular and peculiar thing. I experienced something beyond any could hope. I could see the world through a set of eyes like a kaleidoscope. Ever-changing: growing, birthing, and changing. Rich saturated colors tickling my eyes, and vibrant sound waves reaching out to my ears. Concepts I never contemplate danced across my mind. For the first time I feel like I can use all of my mind; for the first time I can see with my minds eye. I need to come down from this feverish rave of new bewilderment from this kaleidoscopic world view before I get too excited.
            Things where finally looking different, well not so bad but definitely different. MY life went from 0-100 really fast. I went from being locked in a basement 18 hours a day to being a husband and father in almost 3 years. I had no idea what life had in store for me or what it was even like. Although the mental stimulation this world can have on someone who has literally been locked in a basement for 9 years is horrifyingly overwhelming. It seems like it was yesterday yet also so long ago.

My ealriest childhood memory seems heavenly, or at least the closest thing to normal ive ever experienced as a child; I remember waking up and my mom would bring me a bowl of coco pebbles with bananas. Then we would go to the living room and watch cartoons and I would play my Nintendo 64. At this time she had her own place and it was nice; I had my own room and clean clothes. My parents where married for only a short time but I know I loved them both. I idolized them because to me they where my heros. I'm not sure entirely what went wrong but I do know it went wrong very fast. That slice of heaven is long gone.
           
          My mom and I lived in her car for a long time it seemed. Traveling from place to place. Mom and dad didnt get along so I was stuck where ever I was. Up until my brother Logan was born that is. Mom moved in with my dad at his moms house by then and it wasn't bad at all I loved being with my grandma she's a really cool lady but what wasnt cool was how my mom started to act so different. She was falling asleep for days at a time, couldnt keep her head up, slured her words and drooled on herself. It would worry me bc id think she was dead. They eventually kicked her out because of how bad she was getting but mom took Logan and I with her.
          We would later find out that we were her source of money. She was using the money from child support and getting drugs with it. We then moved in with her mom and it was a totally different environment. Twelve other ppl, not including us three, were already living in this two bedroom trailer. Can you imagine how thick the clouds of smoke where from everyone smoking in there. I had asthma from second hand smoke from the man made smog in my grandmother's living room. This side of my family is one I'm not too proud to call mine. They are always attempting to wrong someone in order to better themselves, and sometimes they are more than willing to screw themselves over to get even with someone. Sounds complicated but I have plenty of examples for another time. By this time ive just turn nine, Logan six, and mom had another on the way. Yes I said another one. Not only was I given the news of having a little sister but just months before she was born a social worker came to the trailer and asked Logan and I a few questions about how we were surviving. We told them what we had to do to eat and I guess the truth of the matter was that we had to scavange out of dumpsters amd garbage cans for food. At that time in my life that was normal. We were just mere rats living in filth amd trash but to me I was just a kid trying to survive.
           When my sister tena was born I guess everyone thought things would change. That mom would clean her act and dad would come back. Reality has a way with smacking people with the truth however. Mom got even worse and dad still never came back. By now I'd grown distant hating both parents wishing things were different. That's what happened too when the social worker came back this time. Everything at this time was very chaotic and very stressful for me, however my hell on earth started when Logan, Tena, and myself moved in with our aunt pam and uncle john. I was 9 years old and at first it was great because we had a warm bed, clothes, and food. Only problem was that is was just a facade.