The After Party

21 Questions

     I am finally getting homework done at my desk in my room. I think my brain is in so much of an overload from everything that it has to focus on something else. On the bus ride home I would not dare let myself resist the urge to see what else I could find out in Iyana's phone. There was nothing else left to be discovered though. I don't know if she is good with covering her tracks or if there really isn't anything more to find.

I am far from a police detective. I can barely figure out the endings on Law and Order episodes. This is different, because no script can be written to alter the ending. This cannot be wrapped up nice and tiny with a bow on it at the end. My sister is really missing, and unlike on television I can apparently find out things that the police can't.

I did not see Iyana after she gave me her phone in the hallway. I went out of my way a little to not see her. Then again she could not have been sp wrapped up in some guy that she forgot what was in there. She knew I would be going through the contact's list. She knew it was a risk didn't she? I put my pencil down as I ponder questions I am not sure I could handle the answers to. What I really need to know is when they started talking and why – especially now- did Iyana not mention it to me.

I hear the doorbell ring. No one typicaly comes by, but Iyana or my brothers friends. I look out of the window and I see her standing by the door. I grab her phone and angrily storm down stairs. She is supposed to be my best friend and she lied to me this entire time. Who can do that to someone they claim to be close to? If she has information on my sister why would she not just say something. As I approach the door I falter. I wonder if it was as simple as her scoring alcohol from her for a party. They are both the wild party girl type. They probably have more in common with one another than I do with either of them.

I open the door to see the girl I called my best friend for over a year now. Her beauty no longer phases me. I am no longer mesmerized by the exciting life I believe her to lead. I am no longer astonished by being friends with someone who is so popular, when I am so not. I regard her as someone else who has betrayed me. Symbolically enough I am at the side door where I was attacked. In this spot with another betrayer I cannot help but to let so much built up and suppressed anger arise. I know it is only a feeling of a temporary release, but it feels so good right now.

I shove the phone towards her. Here is your damned phone Iyana.

She looks at me shocked and scrunches her shoulders back as if I am about to slap her. I should, but I don't have the proof that it would take to make me do something like that, yet. Woah. What's going on? Did something happen?

I don't know. Do you want to tell me about anything that did happen?

Can I come in Kayla? Come on tell me what happened. What did I do?

I step back and slam the door in her face as hard as I can. It is the most childish thing I have ever done, but gosh it feels great.

I turn around and begin to walk back towards my room.

Honey why where you so mean to your friend? My mom ask.

Mind your own business step-ford wife. If you gave a shat maybe you wouldn't even have to ask. My fists are clenched by my side and I am shaking. It is not until this very moment that I realize how much anger I am truly letting out. it is not until this moment that I realize how much anger I truly even had. I can't even speak straight because I feel like every hair on me wants to explode with pent up anger. I feel like they all deserve it. They all deserve it because they did not stop it. I should hate them for this too and I do. I hate everyone for not stopping what happened to me. I was raped and everyone else just goes about their day like they can't see it. I am not me anymore. Why can't anyone see that someone stole so much of me in ways no one can understand? It is not just the thing with my sister I realize. It's not even mostly that. Maria's disappearance is just an awful distraction. If you loved me you would see it mom. I am too angry to stop the tears. I just let them swallow me as I walk up to my room. I walk past my dad and for the first time he does not give me crap. For the first time I truly would not care if he did.