To the love of my life, my every sense of the word, my every breath that I take, and my reason for everything, every glimpse of my life, my husband Rowan De'Medici.
You are my morning, my evening, my love, my life, my steps, my way, my hometown, my...
"Don't cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won't let you see the stars." —Violeta Parra
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Grace De'Medici - Second Verse
There were nights when the wind was so cold, the sky was so black, and the star has gone. The palace was too big to fill just with silence, and loneliness. In the height of the heart, the blows to the bottom of the earth, above the sky this heart falls down. And The cure for pain is in the pain.
The moment my feet touched the marble flooring at the entrance of the house, I felt my whole body aching. The coolness of the floor eased my aching feet as The Butler reached for my coat.
"Welcome home, Ma'am. Would you like anything?" She nodded and folded my coat over her arm.
"No, Thank You, Kate" I leaned over to pick up my black Roger Vivier heels from the ground. "Is Mr. De' Medici at the home?" I ask her.
"No, Ma'am. The master is not in the home yet." The master that she is talking about is my husband, the owner of this house, the person who controls all of this, and the answers to all the questions.
I headed up the stairs to my bedroom, take a fast shower, and stepped out with my silk nightgown. Since we got married, since I came into his house, he always looked away from me, he always let me be alone. He never always had my back, he never looks after me, he never touches me. Seeing him is one of my favorites, calling him a husband is one of my pride, and having him is one of the best things. But there is a path for me for you that I am constantly looking for.
I am lost in my own self, and I don't know what life I run, I lost a lot in this battle, I dream of a lot in this fairy tale, and again, in the end, my wound never gets better. So many times I needed you, but so many times you ignoring me. But on some days I am okay with you ignoring me because I am afraid of facing the truth about us. And sometimes, I think I am just lost in reality, but I found myself lost in the dream too.
Some longings that must be felt a secret never conveyed only left hidden.
When everyone said to leave.
I choose to stay.
I will.
And if tomorrow is the news of yesterday, I hope it brings new hope and the hope brings you.
