I stole a rope from the garage.
I stare at it for a bit.
Should I do what I think I should be doing?
I'm telling myself yes.
I grab the rope, and start tying it into a way I thought I never would do.
When I first heard of depression I always thought "Man, those people are crazy, I'm never doing that."
But here I am.
Being the "crazy" I never wanted to be.
I deserve to die. I can't be this type of person.
I know if I kill myself, people will care, which is why I haven't done it earlier.
But I can't stand myself, I have to.
I decide to write a letter.
My hands are shaking like crazy.
I start to write...
Dear... Everyone who has cared or loved me,
I'm sorry. I have to do this. I don't have the strength to go on and to be person I wanted to be. The person I used to be. Writing this is harder than I thought, I never thought I would be doing this...
I don't know if you knew I was depressed, but that's okay. If you did, you tried your best to help me, and that's one of the best things I could ask for. Don't feel bad because you couldn't help me, because you did help me... Just not enough for me to realize I should move on.
Since my hand writing is pretty bad on here, and I'm running out of space, I'll just finish off.
Thank you so much for trying to help. I really appreciate it, but now it's time to let me go and live better off without me. You don't have to worry anymore.
Goodbye.
Once I finish writing, I just put it on my bed. I hang the noose up and make sure it's tight enough. I don't think it'll break.
I stand on a chair, and put my head through the rope. My heart is beating fast. I still can't believe I'm doing this.
I kick down the chair...
I wasn't expecting such a tug on my neck, I gasp for air. My natural instinct is to try and pull the rope away from my neck, but it's no use. I feel the instant regret filling in me, the one everyone gets when they realize they've done something wrong.
But there's no going back.
I feel tears form in my eyes as everything starts to black out.
I'm still running out of air. It's like I've been underwater for longer than I should, and I still can't get out.
I continue to gasp for air, kicking my legs around. Suddenly everything goes black and I have no control over my body. Everything is cold and nothing is seen except for black.
I guess I've done it.
I'm gone forever.
