hate u, love u, complicated mess

huge mess of things (2/19/19)

so recently there's been this guy that I really liked. he was super nice and was generally a great guy to me. i had liked him for about 2 months by now and I had decided to tell him how I wanted to move forward. he had by them already shown himself liking me so I thought we were on the same page! (I was so wrong) he had already told me multiple times that I was pretty and that he really liked me, he just wasn't ready to date. I understood that because i too wasn't ready to date. I finally confessed to him that I wanted to move things forward. at that point, he decided to deny every thing that he had said to me, claiming he only liked me as a friend and that he didn't like me like that. i was furious because my feelings for him had grown so much that now he wad denying everything!? that's not ok. I was quite furious because all these lies had gotten me mad. also, when he had claimed that he wasn't ready to date, I recently found out that he is dating another girl who I don't know of. I'm happy for them, but why? I don't understand. when I liked him, he was texting other girls but I put that aside because I thought he truly liked me. its a lot to take in.

here's a different part of the story that got me so mad at him. so, he has my snap password and I had his. every thing was fine and dandy until one day I couldn't log into his snap acc anymore. i was never someone to snoop around texts, that would just be rude, but we would just send funny texts to each other as each other, if that makes any sense. I asked him if he had changed his password, and he claimed he hadn't. I didn't really believe him because he has lied before, as you read. mind you, he still had my snap password at the time, I had forgotten to change it. today, I was getting on to snap to see that I was logged out. I had gotten pretty used to this but then I got a text from a close friend saying "why'd you screen record our texts?" I then knew something was up. I had told this friend everything that has happened between me and this boy, good and bad, so all of our texts were right there, in the open. i texted her saying that wasnt me and that the boy had logged into my account and must have found something he wanted. she didn't believe me, and I was sad because i didn't want to lose a friend for no reason. anyways, I texted him asking if he logged into my account, and he left me on delivered... FOR 4 HOURS. meanwhile, he wad posting on his snap story and instagram the whole time while ignoring me. I was so fed up about this. when he FINALLY answered, he said that he did screen record because he was sad about what I said about him. that sent me over the edge. ok, woo hoo you can be sad, but looking through all my texts with her AND screen recording it was overstepping the boundaries. he invaded my privacy and I was mad. i continued to tell him how I was mad but he proceeded to blame everything on me. I was furious and I still am. he wants me to text him about this, but I refuse to. if he really wants to stay friends, he needs to talk to me about this and not end it in a fight.