As Usual || Camren

Chapter 3

I woke up at the sound of birds outside, and I felt like throwing a brick at them. Yeah, I wasn’t a morning person, not after drinking so much at night. I stared at the clock in front of my bed and it read 9AM. Why in the name of God was I up so early? I groaned and got out of bed and went to take a shower. My head was killing me and I decided to just relax for the day, as usual. After I was done showering and taking my daily dosage of painkillers, I lay down on the couch and just stared at the black screen of my 3-D LCD television. I looked around me and took in my surroundings. I was Lauren Jauregui, 22 year old bachelorette. Yeah, I was rich, but if I could give up all the money, all my belongings, and all my relations with the richest most famous people only to have her back, I would in a heartbeat.

I heard the door open and saw Keaton peeking through the door.

“Oh, you’re up. How are you feeling?”

“hey keat, oh you know, I’m doing alright” I hear him sigh.

“You wanna talk about last night? Because that didn’t look like alright to me…”

“Can we not talk about this please?”

“Lauren. You’re gonna have to open up. Talk to me, let me be there for you, let me help you through this.”

“Keaton you’re already helping me you’re already here for me. I don’t know what more you can do. I don’t even get why you still stick around me. I’m messed up, I’m broken, and I’m destined to this kind of life. You can walk away from all this any time you wa-“

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m here to stay Lauren. You know how I feel about you and how I feel about this. I meant what I said. I’m willing to wait forever till you get better.” Before I could say anything he interrupted and continued to speak “and don’t try to convince me otherwise cause we already had this talk and I’m sticking to it.” He said as he stared into my eyes.

I smiled at him but turned to face away. I don’t know what I did to deserve Keaton. He’s been with me since that day and he promised to help me with all this. When I bumped into Camila at the pub 6 months ago, it was almost a dream, and since then things had gotten worse for me, but Keaton still chose to stand by me. I knew it wasn’t fair for him, I knew he liked me, and deep down I admitted to myself that if my heart didn’t belong to someone else, it would’ve easily fallen for him. But he chose to wait for me, if Camila were to never regain her memory; I guess I would give myself in to Keaton.

Last night was me and Camila’s anniversary and it marked 2 years since her accident. 2 years of her not knowing who I was, and as much as that tore me apart, I wanted to try and put the effort in forgetting. I decided right then and there that I will continue my life normally, maybe even to prove to myself, I’ll head over to the gym…. Pssht, who am I kidding. I’m off to get my drink on, but it wouldn’t hurt to tell Keaton otherwise.

“Alright, I’m off to take a run around the park, so I’ll catch up with you later?” I said getting up and avoiding looking at his eyes which I knew were full of disapproval, worry, and annoyance.

“Yeah… alright. Don’t take too long at the ‘park’” he sighed.

I went outside and decided to take a walk instead of driving. My thoughts went back to Camila and our situation. Maybe this was a sign, maybe I was meant to run into her at that pub, maybe this was Gods way of saying I have another chance. I knew it was entirely my fault, that I have brought this upon myself. Even if I did talk to Camila again and that helped trigger back her memory, then what? She would remember exactly why she had been driving around that night. She would know the reason she left the house and got lost. She would know the truth about me and my mistakes, and then she would leave me. She’d know what a horrible person I was, she’d want nothing to do with me since not only did I fail our marriage but I caused her an accident that scarred her for life. I wasted 2 years of her life, 2 years where she could’ve been doing all the things she should’ve been doing and being around all the people that she would want to be around. I took all that away from her, I took away her life, her happiness, and her memory. I didn’t deserve her, I didn’t deserve her love, and I sure as hell didn’t deserve this second chance.

I found myself standing outside the Pub, as usual.  I looked inside through the glass and saw her. She stood there completely oblivious to the fact that I had ruined her life. Somehow she managed to treat me so kindly, and act so sweetly towards me as if she’d known me for so long. I took a second to let that sink in. “As if she’d known me for so long”… how ironic and sad it is to speak words you know couldn’t be any more true and false. As I stood there admiring her from a far thinking of all my misfortunes, her eye caught mine. She smiled genuinely and for a second I felt that she was back. My Camila was back, but then she turned back to her other customers with the same smile on her face. I felt my heart drop, but I shouldn’t feel pain, I should’ve gotten used to this but somehow deep inside I wanted to believe that there was a special place in her heart for me. So I went in, and prepared myself for my daily dose of Camila and Alcohol, as usual; except that I had no idea tonight would end up differently and nowhere near the usual.