In Love - Double B

7

He wasn't sure if he woke up straight after what happened, or if there was a time gap, but all he knew was that he was just waking up in his bed. He just laid there for a moment, blinking up at the ceiling before he froze then sat up with a start, looking around robotically before he reached out for his phone that was on the bedside table.

Was it all a dream? It couldn't have been, it was so vivid, it was so...impossible...

Evidence. There were none of the texts between him and Hanbin from the night before. The last time Jiwon had been texted by him was with the ice-cream selfie, and Jiwon suddenly couldn't breathe. None of it had been real. Had he even gone to the bar? He had a massive migraine, but that could be for another reason. Had he even seen Hanbin at all yesterday? He didn't know. He couldn't remember. And he was thrashing about without realising he was moving, feeling like a hand was pressing relentlessly on his throat and he was struggling for air until someone rushed in and pinned him down gently, murmuring a soothing, "Hey, hey, it's okay."

"It's not," Jiwon breathed out, clutching onto the arms that hugged him tight to a chest, a head flopping on top of his as hands rubbed his back. "Bin...Hanbin-"

"He's here, I'm here."

Jiwon looked up, falling silent now as he saw Hanbin looking down at him with so much fond worry swimming in his eyes which were glittering so sadly, harbouring jewels of soft blue sapphire instead of dynamic diamond. Jiwon decided to stay quiet, letting Hanbin cradle him gently as he tried to get himself together. He tried to open his weak mouth, wanting to ask what had happened last night but Hanbin was one step ahead of him.

"I found you last night at the pub drunk and crying your heart out. What's wrong, hyung?" Hanbin asked in a voice barely louder than a whisper, pressing his cheek against Jiwon's head and the elder felt so dismal. Of course that was how he had been last night. Miserable, alone, pathetic. Of course. "You can tell me. You can tell me anything. Or nothing. It's your choice."

Jiwon was becoming so sick of keeping this to himself, he wanted to tell Hanbin everything but his mind wasn't allowing his heart to work its magic, because his brain didn't believe in magic. His brain was right.

"Love is hard," was all Jiwon could say and Hanbin nodded, carding a hand through the former's hair.

"I know."

"I had...had a dream. You were in it."

"I was?" Hanbin asked in surprise and Jiwon nodded, dropping his head onto Hanbin's thigh and he felt like crying all over again when he recalled the dream. God, he should've known it was fake. Hanbin was too caring to be that emotionless, he would have gone motionless, or he would have wordlessly comforted Jiwon without putting his two cents in because he wouldn't know how to react, but he wouldn't just tactlessly question Jiwon to the brink of tears. That was Tigerbin, but he never came out for these circumstances, that guy was the one who was stroking his hair now and pulling the blanket tighter over Jiwon, making sure he was snug. "Was it a nice dream?"

"Yes and no," Jiwon sniffed, thinking back. It was almost nightmarish, but some parts of it had felt so good. Then there was his speech at the end. His speech that still applied, and he couldn't believe he had said it. Or, thought it. Dreamt himself saying i- whatever. "Hanbin?"

Hanbin nodded, caressing his jaw and he did it so much gentler than Dream Hanbin had. "Yeah?"

"Do you need to know how you fell in love with someone to be able to know you're in love with them?"