It all started in the bathroom

Toilet outbreak

So if you didn't know I'm Randy. I work at Hobby Lobby, I count wood. One day after a long day of counting wood. I sat on my couch and watched the Price is Right for about 12 hours. I suddenly had the urge to use the restroom. So, I got up. Step by step and went to the pot. I really need to clean my bathroom. I put down the seat and sat there and did restroom stuff. I was in there for about 20 minutes when I heard my front door open. I locked the bathroom door and hid    in  my bathtub. They rummage through my stuff as I try to call 911, but they didn't answer. The person began banging on my door relentlessly until they got it open. I was shocked,none of them were males only transgenders and females.So the only option was to run, but I was trapped!I called my friend Sammy over to my place to come and help me because he was in karate for about 5 years. But some how the zombies managed to cut the power lines so I couldn't call him.Good thing I kept a base ball in my bathroom for protection . SO I swung my bat at each zombie that was close to me.I have almost cried because for some reason I saw my girlfriend figured like a zombie.The worst part is I was on the toilet seat while the zombies were busting in.Once I managed to kill all of the zombies that were in my house,I ran out of my house to look for my friend Sammy.The whole town was beat up,and it happened all when I was on the toilet.Once I reached Sammy's place I busted in side to look for him,I herd the shower running so I went to go turn it off.Then out of know where I saw Sammy jump out of the closet,lucky thing he wasn't a zombie.He told me to hide before his zombie dad finds us.He told me his dad was fat and ugly so we would faint quick.However My friend kept an axe in his bedroom closet.I was safe until my friend's dad showed up and threw up on us for no reason at all.We hid under  Sammy's bed for the past 4 hours and it felt like it was a romantic moment but that would seem gay.Once Sammy's dad was gone we ran out of the bedroom and out of the house,next thing you know there was a street full of zombies!Then suddenly I had to go number 2, so I ran back to Sammy's house with a roll of toilet paper in my hand.When I got to the restroom I sat down nervously and scared.The toilet seat was covered in zombie guts that were from Sammy's dad.I didn't want my butt covered in guts so I just held it in.My friend kept knocking on the door to tell me to hurry up,but I had to let it out.As soon as I got out of the bathroom I ran into Sammy's car,Sammy said we were going to drive to the market so we could grab food in case of dying from starvation.Sammy took everything I didn't like and I took everything he didn't like .We took everything back to the car as soon we were done,but for some reason all of the food was rotten so we knew we were going to die from starvation.I just remembered I kept 10 lolly pops in my bag.Since we were poor and had no money, we slept in Sammy's car.As soon as I closed my eyes I had to go number 3, so I got out of the car without Sammy knowing and went to the nearest bathroom.When I reached a bathroom the toilet was brown and green inside so I went pee outside.Then I forgot the toilet paper so I had to use a leaf.I went back to the car and I noticed Sammy was gone.I went to go look for him outside of the car,but there was no sign of him.I tried to call him from my phone but there was no signal.Suddenly there was a big herd of zombies racing to the car.Then Sammy jumped out with a chain saw that was in someones basement.He chopped every head off of each zombie ,Then suddenly I became gay for him.We walked back to the car and on the way I told Sammy how I felt for him and he felt the same way for me.Then I knew I wanted to break up with my girlfriend that was a zombie.Soon everything was back to normal and there was no more zombies left for us to kill, but the bad part is we were the only people alive.And the only thing we could eat are lolly pops, so we are going to die soon.