the elasticity of human desire

chapter 1

hello, i'm hyperfixating on skins and the writers didn't give me the tony/maxxie relationship that i DESERVE so i'm writing it myself xoxo

Everything felt fuzzy somehow. Tony had settled on that word a while back. He didn't know how to explain it exactly, but his life felt like a haze. Everything that was happening felt strange, somewhat off, but more than anything, his memories felt like trying to watch one of those really old, poor quality home movies that's deteriorated over time. The colors were off and the world was blurry, the sound was nearly indistinguishable, and he almost never understood the context of what he was seeing. It probably didn't help that all of his friends had sort of ditched him. He understood it a little, maybe - he'd gotten absolutely fucking obliterated by a bus, according to his sister, Effy. Recovering was a long process and it was hard, and he figured it must be for those around him, too. Especially those that had cared about whoever he was before the accident.

He just wished they'd stayed around. Even if he hadn't been able to remember them, it still would've been nice to know that people had loved him enough to stay around even though he couldn't remember who he was or who they were to him. It sucked, feeling like an absolute fucking idiot and a nutter and someone who has no friends.

Well, he has one. Maxxie. Max's the only person who still cares. Or maybe ever cared. Tony couldn't really know if he couldn't remember, could he?

Things came back sometimes. It took a lot of concentration and made his head hurt like hell, but Tony could see his memories better sometimes. Less like a deteriorated home video and more like a low-budget movie from the seventies.

He wasn't sure what brought them back. He wasn't sure he had the mental capacity to try to figure it out, either.

He was sat on a bed in a small room. It was cold. Maxxie was there, too. He looked... sad.

"What happened?" Tony asked as he sat down on a little bed next to Maxxie. They were roommates or something, apparently - Tony could figure that much out.

"He's just, like. Switched. About me being... You know." Maxxie sounded so distressed, like he  didn't want to admit to himself that this had happened and he wanted even less to admit to someone else.

"Blonde."

"No!"

"Short?"

"Gay!."

It was quiet for a moment. Max stared at the ground and Tony watched him, lips curling into a smirk after a moment.

"Shall I give you head?"

"What?"

"Might cheer you up."

"For fuck's sakes! You're supposed to be my friend. I've come in here with a problem, okay?"

Tony wasn't listening, though. Not really. His eyes had traveled down to Maxxie's lips and then he was leaning forward to press their lips together. It only took a moment for Maxxie to shove him off.

"You fuck!"

Tony was snapped out of his dream by someone saying his name.

"Tone?"

He looked up from where he'd been staring at the ground. Maxxie was stood in front of him, eyes tinged with worry like they always were when he looked at Tony now.

"What?" Tony asked softly.

"What do you think?"

"Think of what?"