hiraeth - a taekook fanfiction

1

Hiraeth — by haruday
Summary
Jeongguk has learned the hard way from the tender age of thirteen when his father pushed him down the stairs, that people are a disappointment. They always will be and so he breaks hearts instead.
Hurt people hurt people.
Jeongguk likes hurting girls, but he doesn't like hurting Kim Taehyung.

Notes
This is an au inspired by the book Diary of an Oxygen Thief and it was originally supposed to be a one-shot but here we are :))) I decided to split it into two parts.
Frat terminology mentioned:
N.I.B- newly initiated brother
Pledgicide- students who die or are injured during hazing
Hazement- basement where hazing takes place
GDI- An acronym for God Damn Independent, a term referring to individuals who loathe the Greeks.

Chapter Summary
Part One: Lost
This will be my only warning, so I do not hold myself accountable to anyone who's triggered by the contents of this story. If you can't tell by this tags, this story does deal with some heavy material. I do not sugar coat my writing. This isn't a safe space. There will be some triggering material in this, so read at your own discretion.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Jeongguk liked hurting girls.
He didn't hurt them physically, per se, but he liked breaking their hearts. He got off on it.
There was nothing he found to be more thrilling than watching them fall apart at his hands, becoming marionettes with every soft caress and whispers of I love you's. He liked it when his name was branded into their rib cages.
Jeongguk was a liar, but his lies gave the women he preyed upon a taste of heaven. A taste of love that was too good to be true, so shouldn't they be grateful?
Jeongguk had long mastered the art of playing the role of the perfect boyfriend. He had a chiseled jawline with doe-like eyes that portrayed false innocence that made girls fall for him all too quickly. He played the shy and bashful role all too well and his bunny smile made girls swoon. Girls really were too easy.
Jeongguk had built a routine to ensure his victims fell for him.
Charming: tell her she's beautiful, and flash her fleeting smiles as if you're shy around her. She'll think that your nervousness is adorable, and it will speed up the whole trust process if you seem genuine. Jeongguk found that girls liked it when he blushed, but he often found it difficult to do so because he felt no affection towards his temporary girlfriends (thinking about all of the things he'd do to them in bed afterwards helped) and a blush often begot a blush.
"You're pretty when you smile," he said whilst mustering up his fakest puppy eyes.
"You really think so?" she asked shyly with color tinting her cheeks. Her name is Mina. She was just reaching eighteen and far too insecure, just the kind of easy target Jeongguk likes.

Sympathy: When she finally decides to give you a piece of herself, pretend to care. She'll tell some tragic story from her past at one in the morning as you both sit on the living room couch, some cheesy romance film playing on the T.V. mere background noise. Jeongguk learned that nodding his head and furrowing his eyebrows as if he was drinking in her every word was the second step into worming his way into a girl's heart. Soft touches of comfort and an affectionate kiss to the forehead always made them shudder. He didn't have to care, just convince them that he did. Look at her like she's the only person in the world.
"You don't ever deserve to be treated like that." The lie comes out easily after Mina tells him the tragic story of her first love. "I'll never hurt you like that." Jeongguk will erase the pain of her first love with something far more sinister.
Jeongguk's favorite type of girls were the ones who fell hard and fast, because those were the ones he really felt he killed, and the way that the light in their eyes went out when he broke their hearts excited him. But what really made thrill bubble up in his stomach was when they'd break down into a mess of snot and tears. They truly looked ugly then. That's when they were raw and exposed and Jeongguk could stab them until blood splattered against the walls and seeped into the carpet.
Jeongguk liked breaking hearts because it was legal murder.
He liked the bloodstains on the front door the best. The sound of the door slamming followed by broken sobs and the screech of tires against pavement was music to his ears.
Jeongguk relished evoking emotions when he broke them, but then there were those who reacted in a fit of rage and it could be a nuisance. Sometimes her yelling would go on for too long and she'd curse incessantly, to which he would merely pick at the dirt beneath his fingernails and ask, Are you done yet? Jeongguk had never hit a girl before, but there were a few times that he was tempted to.
After Jeongguk grew bored of his little game with Mina, she threw freshly brewed coffee onto his face, tears hot and angry streaming down her beet-red face.
"I—I can't believe you!" she shrieked, breath shaky with each inhale. "You used me! You fucking—"
Jeongguk had simply cocked his head slightly, smug grin as he soaked in Mina's broken state with a cold gaze. "Yeah, so what?"
He remembered the burning sting of coffee and the string of curses he had let out because it was fucking hot. Lucky for him it left no marks. It was nothing compared to the emotional scars he had inflicted to carve their way deep into her heart whenever she'd stormed out the door.
There were girls like Yeeseul, who slapped Jeongguk when she caught him sucking faces with