Compromise

im sorry

Yes, it's been a while. And I know what you're thinking: "Another excuse". But this goes much further beyond not having time or not inspired to write.

I'm grasping at straws and holding onto everything I can so I literally don't kill myself. It sounds melodramatic but my life hasn't taken such a deep, downward spiral like this before. I swear if it weren't for my baby, I would have ended my life years ago.

I apologise for not saying anything until now. You, my loyal supporters should have been of the first to know what I'm going through. I don't take you guys lightly. Your kind words have moved me in ways that so called "friends" in the past weren't able to. I love you all so much.

To clarify a little more, my health isn't the best and I'm in debt thousands and thousands of dollars that I'm too afraid to check these days. I've turned twenty one but risk a heart attack at such a young age because of this overwhelming stress. Life is just so hard for me right now and every time I try to write, I pause and remember all the pressure I'm under and succumb to my darkest thoughts. All I ask is that you send positive vibes and prayers for me. I need it more than ever right now.

If I ever get out of this slump, I'll write you guys the best damn book you could ever get out of me. For now, I think I need to focus on myself and figure these things out. I REALLY don't mean to seek attention and pity, but this is literally a life and death thing. Some days are just so hard so I apologise that Wattpad, something that used to brighten my day, no longer holds the same significance in my heart as it used to. I'm just so numb to it all. Maybe one day I'll let you know everything that happened to me and led me to where I am now, but for now, I need to gather my thoughts.

Again, with lots of sorrow in my heart, I apologize. I love you all so much.